
306 Syllables on SotomayorThe Senate judiciary committee explains its votes in haiku form.
Posted Tuesday, July 28, 2009, at 4:21 PM ETIt's a good thing there were yet more speeches today at the Senate judiciary committee's hearing on Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor. God knows, it's been a well-kept secret how each senator was poised to vote. The final tally was 13-6 in support of Sotomayor, although there were only 18 speeches (Jon Kyl, R-Ariz., did not speak). For those who missed the proceedings, the following are summaries of each of the senators' speeches as offered this morning—in haiku form.
Patrick Leahy, D-Vt.
Republicans call
Her failure to make new law
"Activism." Bah!
Jeff Sessions, R-Ala.
A wise Latina
Would set aside her bias
She just can't do it
Herb Kohl, D-Wis.
She just won't answer
This is not conversation
I vote to confirm
Orrin Hatch, R-Utah
Her speeches and words
Show a disturbing approach
She's never resolved
Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif.
What Sonia has done
Is so very impressive
So I am impressed
Chuck Grassley, R-Iowa
Pit in my stomach
Ricci, Maloney, Didden
Too biased to judge
Russell Feingold, D-Wis.
Theater this is
She dodged all of our questions
But still I vote yea
Lindsey Graham, R-S.C.
Law's a quiet place
Where unpopular may hope
Young Latinas dream
Charles E. Schumer, D-N.Y.
Many opinions
Yet they look outside record
Shout outside mainstream
John Cornyn, R-Texas
We now all agree
Judges channel the Framers
Empathy is toast
Dick Durbin, D-Ill.
Guys 'n' gals differ
It's not that one is biased
We just come that way
Tom Coburn, R-Okla.
She wouldn't defend
The wise Latina comment
So I must vote no
Ben Cardin, D-Md.
Wise Latina thing
It was raised seventeen times
I think she gets it
Sheldon Whitehouse, D-R.I.
I cannot find fault
With empathy in judges
Courts are the last stand
Amy Klobuchar, D-Minn.
A prosecutor
Badass on white collar crime
Tough chick. Just like me.
Edward Kaufman, D-Del.
Financial markets—
Let me say it one more time:
Financial markets
Arlen Specter, D-Pa.
Ethnic pride is good
But this is not me crying
It's just the chemo
Al Franken, D-Minn.
Roberts Court trashes
Protections for you and me
Now that's activist!
Whom should Obama pick next?
You can watch them all
And then, she arrived
Sweet Sonia! Only too wise
It's all in the script
A hair-tearing week
Senators behave badly
Sarah trumps all though
.
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