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Re: Where Once Famed Babel's Gardens Grew
I ought to be ashamed for my forgetfulness...thanks for the refresher! Not long ago, I visited the British Museum. My favorite parts had to do with Mesopotamia, and in particular with the cache of musical instruments found at Ur (here, here, here, here and here; slideshow of the whole set of trip photos, here). You probably remember how the ...
Posted to Poems by White_Rabbit on July 26, 2009
Re: The Photon - An Ode to Light
How about ''foresaw'' or, perhaps better yet, ''foreknew''? Dr. Wheeler's exact phrase was that the Universe ''someknow knew we were coming'', and after looking at the online tangle of cosmological arguments revolving around that idea just now, I figure that for the sake of the poem, it would be best to not go too far beyond that. So far as I ...
Posted to Poems by White_Rabbit on July 26, 2009
Re: The Migrant - Comments welcome
In reply to a concern pointed out elsewhere, what could the narrator have done about the situation? He had no ''pull'' with the policeman, let alone the ability to usurp his authority. Yes, it would be a nice ''morality play'' for the narrator to try anyway, but it wouldn't be true to life. There is such a thing as trying to grab a passing dog by ...
Posted to Poems by White_Rabbit on July 26, 2009
Re: denny with a "d"
I LIKE that poem, denny. I really think you should focus on original poetry revolving around such themes. If (as Sir Arthur Eddington said) ''the Universe is not only queerer than we imagine, it's queerer than we can imagine,'' then surely there is a place for your slightly askew perspective in trying to imagine it poetically. And this is surely ...
Posted to Poems by White_Rabbit on July 24, 2009
So do I...
I'm getting a little surprised at the reactions to this poem. There's nothing commonplace or ''prosy'' about it. It is narrative poetry. wr ()()
Posted to Poems by White_Rabbit on July 21, 2009
Re: "No Running in the Halls" - more to Wabbit and NoStar
You KNOW wabbit that ''if it has been said before'' I am forbidden to say it again - ;-) It's a good thing then that a lot of traditional poets and poet-composers (King David comes to mind) didn't have to face that criterion. @:-) The trick, of course, is to recombine familiar patterns in unfamiliar ways and not familiar ones. King David comes ...
Posted to Poems by White_Rabbit on July 14, 2009
Re: Good re-write Wabbit ()()
denny: except that when I read the last line I stumbled over it - ''how much older summer had made you'' Plus, in you rewrite it lost some of it's ''sing-song'' internal rhyme and alliteration, which was part of the quality I was striving for. I have always tried to set a specific tempo and cadence to my poetry. And lately I have been playing ...
Posted to Poems by White_Rabbit on July 14, 2009
Re: "No Running in the Halls" - comments welcome
The narrator is someone addressing the woman and quoting the girl she once was. The poem should be structured accordingly. I came up with a different solution overall, as you'll see below. wr ()()
Posted to Poems by White_Rabbit on July 14, 2009
Re: "No Running in the Halls" - comments welcome
I think John Ciardi's quote explains why I began writing poetry and songs in a serious way when I was a young teenager. ''Youthful adolescence''? There's another kind? :) ''First tentative steps / into adolescence'' would be smoother, even if no doubt it's been said before. In fact, a few lines and a few redundancies could be excised and/or ...
Posted to Poems by White_Rabbit on July 14, 2009
Re: "Number 2" - Critical Comments Welcome
Hi Ted, As I've just pointed out, Denny is drawing upon his personality type and the common parlance by which particular cognitive processes within it express themselves. I know that Denny will read this too, so speaking as one who regards you both well, let me put it this way. When someone gets caught up in a belief in his own uniqueness -- and ...
Posted to Poems by White_Rabbit on July 12, 2009

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