I can only tearfully conclude that I must have been completely lacking in their 29 dimensions of compatibility criteria. While I was initially matched up with a few good men, for reasons unknown to me they all hit the "not interested in contacting you" button. As a former homecoming queen, it plunged me into a deep depression from which I shall never recover.

(running upstairs to eat my secret stash of mounds bars, sobbing hysterically.)

And how's it going with the writer (who knew Christopher Hutchens)? Or will this question send you running off to your stash?

Must've been all those mojitos..because the second date was much more of an eye opener. I doubt there'll be a third, Christopher Hitchens, et al notwithstanding.

Ah-hah! Dodged that bullet, eh?

Well, if you really want to get bathed with cold water, take a gander at my post below about the bogus science of love.

I'm an eHarmony member but even so I feel rejected somewhat. I've listed myself as an atheist and of the 18 people I've written I got one response from someone who wanted to know why am I an atheist.

I explained myself but she didn't bother to write back. I just wish I knew eHarmony was run by a J Freak before I became a member. I suppose that a lot of people there are members because of it?

But what's so strange about eHarmony is that I cannot browse and chose the person I want to communicate with. They do the chosing for me and send me an email when they find a match, or what they think is a match. Sometimes I'll only get one every 2 or 3 weeks.

I'm afraid I got involved with the wrong crowd.

it attracts a more diverse group of people. Intelligent, sophisticated people with a sense of humor, mainly. It doesn't have to be nearly so serious or exhausting - it can actually be a lot of fun.

I'm a bit biased because I met my fiancee on eHarmony, where its limitations worked to my benefit. My fiancee is not very religious and was essentially matched to only me, so I didn't have any competition, and she probably agreed to a date so she could at least get a free meal out of her subscription fee (I was matched to a lot of people because my personality profile was basically "religious and willing to date anyone who isn't mean). Other people I know joined and were frustrated because they weren't matched to anyone. But on the other hand, a big site where you can browse puts you in competition with 100's of other people, so you've essentially walked into a bar where you and 100 other people are approaching the same person with a pick up line. Although a more niche site (like the Onion) could be a good compromise.

the wheat from the chaff, but that happens anywhere, even in a bar. At this stage in my life I know what appeals to me the most, and it's not some guy spouting worn out platitudes about cuddling and finding his soulmate. (Congratulations on meeting your fiancee, though - and best of luck to you both.)

Thanks for the congrats. My fiancee still makes fun of me for putting in my profile lame things like "I like long conversations over a cup of coffee," and I don't even drink coffee. Which is why I'm eternally grateful to eHarmony for not giving her any other options to choose from.