It seems to me that the LW is a little hurt and is hiding it by acting like she's above the new proceedings. She wanted to do something small but nice for her parents' anniversary (probably what was in her affordable range), something she'd planned for them herself, and then she was told that her plans weren't big enough. She should suck it up and respect their wishes, but I don't blame her for feeling like her parents simply tossed her efforts aside.

I wondered that too. I also wonder if the mom is planning to fund this huge faux-wedding herself, or is thinking the LW will as an extension of the original party. I don't agree with the "you've had your day, it's now time to step aside" statement, but I can see how your feelings could be hurt if you've been planning a nice party and are then told, "That's nice dear, but put away the paper plates and party-store decorations you picked out because I am going to be QUEEN FOR A DAY!"

Wow are you guys serious? Do you really think the mom wants the daughter to pay for the party? And for all we know the mom and dad have been planning a huge party for years. It turns out that parents don't actually have to reveal thier every thought and dream to thier kids so who knows. I threw my folks a 25th aniv. party, they had us kids young, and I mean young, so they had it at thier house and spent some of thier money on it. My folks got the party they wanted, let me and my sis take the credit for the shin dig and everyone had a great time. We all woudl have been jsut as happy no matter what they decided, cuz...dum... dum... dum... Its THEIR day!!

Sweetpooch - come on. Clara said nothing about money, it was just about sentiment. The daughter might feel bad that she won't be able to throw her little party anymore, and the mere idea seems so small by comparison. And, we actually do know that they weren't planning a huge party for years, because the LW said so. If we're doubting explicit facts from the people who write the letters now, there is seriously nothing left to discuss in these forums.

That being said, it IS her parents' day. There is a way to do this kind of ceremony tackily, but I feel like the LW wouldn't be the only one objecting if that were the case. It sounds like she should just go along with her siblings and enjoy the party.