to me.
The following intemperate fantasy, composed on March 3, 2003, was one of my first posts on the fray:
Karl Rove convenes a meeting of the National Security Council...
Rove: Everybody here? All right, let's get this party started. You may have noticed that I didn't put any money for rebuilding Afghanistan into the budget, and now the lefties are accusing us of being so obsessed with Saddam that we're dropping the ball in the war on terrorism. Dick, just so we're all clear, remind us one more time what exactly is our policy vis-à-vis Afghanistan.
Cheney: Fuck Afghanistan.
Rove: Cool...OK, on to Iraq. Rummy, what's the scoop on Iraq?
Rumsfeld: Fuck Iraq.
Rove: Excellent! And what about our post-Iraq plans? Elliott, you got anything?
Abrams: Fuck Iran.
Rove: All right! And then? Condi?
Rice: Fuck North Korea.
Rove: OK! Anybody else? I hear the Axis of Evil has had some additions lately?
Perle: Fuck France.
Rumsfeld: Fuck Germany.
Feith: Fuck Belgium.
Sharon: FUCK THE PALESTINIANS!! FUCK THE PALESTINIANS!! FUCK THE PALESTINIANS!!
Wolfowitz: Calm down Ari, you'll get your turn.
Sharon: [muttering to himself] Belgium...fuckin' LITTLE ass country...think they can try ME for war crimes.
Rove: How's the coalition of the not-so-willing coming along—made any progress on Turkey, Rummy?
Rumsfeld: Fuck the Turks.
Rove: Bushie-boy, what about your friend Fox? Is he gonna deliver Mexico?
Bush: Fuck Mexico. And while we're at it, fuck Canada too...bitch called me a fuckin' moron.
Rove: Colin, how did Nicholson and Novak do in Rome? God on our side yet?
Powell: Fuck the Pope.
Sharon: FUCK SAUDI ARABIA!! FUCK SAUDI ARABIA!! FUCK SAUDI ARABIA!!
Wolfowitz: Cool it, Ari—we're getting to you.
Rove: OK, what about South America? Anybody down there need fucking?
Cheney: Fuck Venezuela!
Rumsfeld: Fuck Brazil!!
Perle: Fuck Ecuador!!!
Bush: Fuck Chile!!!!
Card: We already fucked Chile.
Cheney: Big time.
Bush: Oh...yeah.
Rove: Colin, you got nine votes yet in the Security Council?
Powell: Fuck Russia. Fuck China. Fuck the whole motherfuckin' UN. Fuck 'em to hell!!
[muttering to himself] Jesus, how the fuck did I get into this fucking mess?
Sharon: FUCK SYRIA!! FUCK SYRIA!! FUCK SYRIA!!
Wolfowitz: Enough already. Syria's on the list.
Rice: Anybody else think we should fuck SOUTH Korea too?
Cheney: That's what I like about you, Condi. Always thinking outside the box.
Rove: OK, what about the domestic front? Let's see—we've already fucked Clinton, McCain, Gore, Dachsle...
Ridge: FUCK'D'M WITH ANTHRAX!!
All: Heh-heh-heh.
Rove: McKinney, Wellstone...
Ashcroft: WELLSTONED'M!!!
All: Heh-heh.
Cheney: You think this Edwards guy is worth worrying about?
Rove: Rush and Fox News are working him over. Should be enough for now.
Sharon: FUCK EGYPT!!! FUCK JORDAN!!! FUCK LEBANON!!!...