Actually, this matter is much simpler than implied in the article. Dr. Neil Warren is running a business. If he chooses not to be a dating assist service for gays, then it's perfectly within his rights. Even if E-Harmony serves only a heterosexual clientelle, that's no one's business but E-Harmony's. If homosexual groups and individuals are offended, well then, they should boycott E-Harmony. There are, after all, limits to how far people can force others to agree with their personal preferences...

I dont see the gay community crying foul on the gay bars that seek to ban heterosexuals.

FBH, I think you're right. At least, that private businesses can choose to serve whichever clientele they wish. eHarmony takes the heat because it is one of the more mainstream, successful dating sites, with one of the more sophisticated matching algorithms out there. It is also one of the only (or the only?) big name sites that patently excludes gay people. Unlike smaller "niche" sites that cater specifically to a special-interest segment, eHarmony defines its clientele by exclusion. Is it legal? Yes. Is it a legitimate pain point for those who believe homosexual relationships should be given the same validity as heterosexual ones? Absolutely.

Agreement with preferences aside, plain acceptance of homosexual relationships is commonplace in online dating, as it is in similar contemporary arenas (like it or not)... which is why it strikes people as such an actively discriminatory move for one such site to reject them. Just because it's legal doesn't mean it isn't offensive.

On a side note, are there gay bars that don't allow heterosexuals? I've never been to one... any names of places you can provide?

I think the "reject" ads are actually more complex than the article suggests. Leaving aside the rejection of homosexuals, eHarmony presents itself as an alternative to the "dating" sites because it matches those looking for long-term, committed relationships, as opposed to hookups. I didn't want to do match.com or the others, because I wasn't looking for a hookup. So I tried eHarmony and got rejected. I chose a different log-in and kept modifying answers until I wasn't rejected anymore. Turns out that being an atheist makes me "not marriage material". As one of the other replies makes clear, my rejection by eHarmony automatically makes me a sleazy loser just trolling for sex. I bet I'm not alone in being p***ed off because eHarmony (who doesn't mention in any of their ads that they are only interested in matching conservative Christians) has declared me damaged goods. I applaud chemistry.com for recognizing that being an eHarmony "reject" may in fact be a badge of honor. I'm glad there is a site that thinks you don't have to meet Dr. Neil Clark Warren's narrow-minded standards to be "worthy" of finding true love.

I understand being irked about going through all that just to be rejected. Thing is, an atheist wouldn't be good marriage material...for Christians. The problem is that they present themselves as very mainstream and non-denominational (so to speak). I can see advertising that way, but at least have some kind of statement on the website with some coded words for people to know who the target market is. I didn't know until reading these comments. That said, it's still their business to run or run into the ground over bad PR.

you are not up to date on current events, a gay bar in australia just successfully obtained the right to exclude heteros, and their reasoning was they felt safer without heteros there.

But neither of these sites is based in Australia, are they, now?

You're right, I will have to do a better job at keeping up-to-date on current events. You'll have to excuse me, I'm slowly working through the archives of every international newspaper since the beginning of time, and it's taking a bit longer than expected - I've just now gotten up to the storming of the Bastille... ooh la la!

Now that I think about it, their TV ads are pretty much obviously targeted toward a heterosexual, monogamous, traditional-values crowd. Take a look, this time with a feel for the underlying Christian assumptions. These men and women talk about marriage, emotional bonding, soul-mates, etc. There are never representations of Ted and Steve's dating outcomes, or anything even hinting at gay dating, etc.

In my mind, this is the same thing as Dell advertising computers instead of cars. As a car buyer, I have yet to become offended at Dell's rejection of my need for a car. If I want a car, I might take a look at cars.com, or a local dealership. But I'm not that frustrated with Dell. Sorry, I just can't work up any steam for getting mad at E-Harmony for doing what they obviously do...

But that's the thing: once you know the context, you notice that there are never any same-sex couples in the ads (I'm still not sure what would tip off the evangelical association, considering how many other belief systems share those views on marriage). Without any obvious cues that "this is the only thing we specialize in," like with Dell, it takes a lot longer to sink in.

he he I LOVE IT!!

"You're right, I will have to do a better job at keeping up-to-date on current events. You'll have to excuse me, I'm slowly working through the archives of every international newspaper since the beginning of time, and it's taking a bit longer than expected - I've just now gotten up to the storming of the Bastille... ooh la la! "