Good Grief! How in the world has she stood this for six years? They seem to have a very lopsided relationship. I also find it odd that after six years and buying a home together, she refers to their relationship as "dating" - it seems like they should be way past the dating stage!

mapala99:

I also find it odd that after six years and buying a home together, she refers to their relationship as "dating" - it seems like they should be way past the dating stage!

It is odd, but then, they've never spent a weekend together, by themselves. It's not as if he's got to work on weekends. He's deliberately leaving her to spend his time someplace else. I'm finding it hard to articulate why this situation seems so off to me. Maybe it's just that it's hard to build a life with someone who voluntarily abandons you during the weekends--the time when most of us have the most time to bond with someone else.

Six years, though? Seriously, why would she waste her time like that?

my sentiments exactly - "dating"???

Women's intuition is a powerful thing -- if she thinks it's going to be weird to start a family with this guy, for all the reasons she mentioned, it will be!

I have two adult children who are married. One lives five minutes away, the other lives out of state. The one who lives close to me drops by for breakfast with me every Thursday, when he is available. If he's not, it's really no big deal. We'll catch up later. The one who lives out of state visits once a year, and calls at least every other week. This is all I would ask of my children. They are married with families of their own, and I expect that to be their priority. If they were here every weekend, I'd have my doubts about the stability of their marriages. I think these 'failure to launch' mama's boys who can't make the leap to independence have problems I wouldn't waste time dealing with.

I don't know how this woman has put up with if for six years. That red flag was flying after the first month.

I agree that this man is weirdly attached to his family of origin and his 12 hour every weekend commute is crazy.

But having said that I would be heartbroken if I saw my sons once a year. My oldest (and his family) live nearby and we have dinner with them twice a week (alternating houses) plus other random visits. The others who live farther away we see at least 5 or 6 times a year. Families have different patterns that work for them.

I guess my big question would be what about her family?

Dating is good - then she can LEAVE! I've spent several years working in a nursing home--one guy got a job at the nursing home, and spent every break with mommy--he didn't go home after work, he stayed with mommy until mommy went to bed, only then did he go home. This went on 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year until she died.

He was only the extremest example, there were plenty who spent every minute not at work with mommy or if they were retired they spent all day long with mommy. One mommy was really upset cuz Jr spent a couple hours saying goodbye to his wife, who was heading back to their home in Florida, while he stayed with mommy all day every day!

Yep---95% were men who did this, very few women!