wouldn't it be wonderful if we stopped judgeing and started supporting.

I know I was a community leader for a women network discussion board and found that women really do need to come together.

the problems encountered in making a choice to breastfed or bottle feed is huge. People making judgements is aweful.

I got accolades for breastfeeding the twins but as soon as I breastfeed for "too long" (over 3 years and one doc gave me advice that said i should have stopped before they were a year old) I get worse looks than if I formula fed them.

What is it?!!!

I formula fed my first after 4 months because my doctor didn't care which way I fed him (probably fearing she would seem to be judging me). I didn't know better and so didn't realize that lack of support was affecting my choices. Did I want to beastfeed my son, yup, but I wasn't getting re-lactation advice from anyone and had to discover it on my own. With number two son, I breastfed him till he self-weaned, but I had to discover why it went wrong the first time. Just hearing "well if it isn't working thats okay" is not alwasy the best wa to support, and neither is telling a mom fresh from birth that she is being horrid for contemplating formula. Many moms want to breastfeed but just don't know how to avoid the many pitfalls.

Support and kindness go a long way.

why breastfeed for over three years? in a different society (more rural or with limited food access or less educated) i get it. but, nowadays, three year olds are SMART. i don't have kids, but i guess i'm thinking that as a parent you are trying to teach them how to take care of themselves, right? along that line of thought, it seems odd to have a kid who is old enough to be able to ask for food ( i just picture a kid saying "me want titty") and can eat solid food, but you're still giving them milk! i'm not judging, i am really curious to know why you did it and how you feel about it. and if it's not too personal, i always wondered... doesn't that affect your sex life?

It is not about the milk. It is about the immune system, it is about emotion, it is about them learning how to let go and feel safe on their terms. it is about them becoming independent when they feel like it. I set limits of course, and I teach them limits. I have just never said "okay that it kid your old enough." Old enough is not just about being able to eat. Of course they eat other things, lots of things. But nursing is more than just food.

hard to explain in such a manner, but it is asking the question "why nurse an older baby/child" that lightbulbs go off and the true nature of nursing begins.

I looked about for reading to answer your question best I can. Here it is...Nursing Your Toddler

Trust me I did not nurse that long for my sake.....(well part of me was glad all my kids allowed me to put 12 years of breastfeeding consecutively under my belt as for every year you breastfeed decreases the chance of breast cancer by 4% and since my mom died of BC at 54 and her sister died of BC at 56 and my sister was diagnosed last year at 43 ...well I'm glad it went as long as it did)

Are all my kids independant...yup, but that was just part of my parenting "style" and that style included child lead weaning. I do not have one emotionally clingy child (I have 5 children)

And about sex...no problem..it happens...

Butting in here, but ... Generally, as children get older, they require/want it less and less. It becomes (I think) more of a nurturing item than a physical requirement.

If someone wants to nurse the kid till age 3, I don't really care, as long as it's still about the kid and not some twisted motive on the part of the mother (like the one sleeping with her 10-year old.) Also, by age 3, I don't think the kid needs Mom to pop it out in line at the grocery store, but instead should have developed the ability and understanding that sometimes he has to wait, just like they learn about relieving themselves.

Same with sex life. Nursing a kid of whatever age (mine weaned themselves at average age 19 months) doesn't mean walking around with them hanging off 24 hours a day. You nurse them; you put them back in bed. Different couples handle the sex vs. lactation different ways. Some have a "just for baby" rule and others let Daddy get a sip now and then. We had a baby-only rule, because I wanted to make sure they slowed down production as the baby lost interest. Also, I wanted to make sure he knew he was the husband, and the baby was the baby. Sometimes he seemed to confuse those roles.