Many of the experiences you have had seem very hurtful and unproductive. However, I would like to point out that having an 11 week old in a car seat with a bottle (assuming you are not personally holding the bottle) is actually quite dangerous. A small infant cannot adequately move the bottle out of the way if he starts to choke, and if he is choking, it's entirely possible you will hear nothing at all. As a safety concern, once should never prop an infant's bottle.

The goal of any loving parent is to raise a child to become a functioning and happy human being; formula feeding is not an impediment to that, and no one should be making you feel judged for that.

I know a lot of people have read her comment about the bottle in the car seat to mean that she has her 11-week-old drink while she is driving. That could be what she meant but I did not interpret it that way. We used the infant car seats for longer than 11 weeks. They were carriers, they were strollers (on the snap-n-go) and they were car seats. Some times we might leave a toy, a bottle (of expressed milk) or a blanket in the seat while we were holding one of our babies. Sometimes, while the baby slept and the seat was at our feet or on the stroller, we might wedge something in the side (usually by a baby's foot). Since I related her description to my own parenting (though thankfully I have not faced berating from either side of the breastfeeding aisle so did not have her problem), I did not think anything of what she described. However, your warning is well-taken for anyone with an infant.

I sympathize with you completely. I am a nurse that works in a nursery and have seen firsthand how new moms are pressured to breastfeed. I think it does not show respect for the new mom and her preferences, for whatever reason it is that she chooses not to breastfeed. The worst is when mom's who are breastfeeding are practically forbidden to allow their baby to have any supplement in the early days, before the milk has come in. I've seen the babies come back from feeding for 45 min and longer, still rooting and crying. There is no harm in allowing a baby to have supplemental formula until the milk is in. Not only does it help the baby to be hydrated and receive adequate calories, and keep his blood sugar from dropping, but it also gives the new, usually exhausted mom, a chance to replenish herself so that she does not become even more exhausted. I've seen babies admitted to the neonatal intensive care for dehydration because the 'lactation specialist' decided the baby shouldn't have anything other than the breast. Their fear is that if the baby tastes a bottle, he will never nurse again. I've been in the nursery for 27 years, and I can tell you that they are able to do both. So when I read this mom's post, I know where she's coming from. It's about time some bottle feeders begin to speak up and not allow anyone to intimidate them. I am tempted to write a book, the womanly art of bottle feeding!

This message is for AmazonParrot. I am a registered nurse and a lactation consultant and I must say much of the information you stated promoting supplementing breastfed babies with formula being harmless, and regarding dehydration and blood sugar, are medical misinformation. If you really are a licensed healthcare professional, please do not misinform the public. You would not give a bottle baby eggs, so why would you risk creating a food allergy in a breast baby? A single early introduction of formula (modified cow's milk) or any other food, can predispose a breastfed baby to cow's milk allergy when it is reintroduced into his diet at one year of age. Most hospitals require a doctor's order to give a breast baby formula, it is not a nursing decision. Under normal circumstances, breast babies do not experience dehydration or low blood sugar. They should not be brought to the nursery, they should be left with their mothers as nature intended so they can continue to nurse.

Breastfed mothers have the right to refuse to have their babies supplemented, just as bottle-feeding mothers have rights. It is a fact that breast milk is the intended food for babies and we cannot duplicate it. It is a fact that babies will survive and grow on formula. The American Academy of Pediatrics states that babies should receive only breastmilk for the first six months of life because of the many health benefits breastmilk provides. Formula is not bad, but breastmilk is perfect.

The role of the maternal/infant nurse and the lactation consultant is to provide information so mothers can make informed decisions, then support those decisions through teaching and other methods and resources. It is a fact that some mothers are unable to breast feed, and some choose not to, and their reasons are not our business.It is unprofessional to let personal biases interfere. Lactation consultants are not breastmilk nazis, and I regret the unfortunate experiences some of you may have had.

Rest assured, breast feeding mothers have had their share of meddling do-gooders. It hasn't been long ago that breastfeeding mothers were asked to go to public restrooms to nurse. How would you like to have dinner in a restroom?

NCnurse:

The American Academy of Pediatrics states that babies should receive only breastmilk for the first six months of life because of the many health benefits breastmilk provides. Formula is not bad, but breastmilk is perfect.

I agree with the bulk of your statement, but I beg to differ on this point. Breastmilk is not always perfect. In ideal circumstances, it is. But when the mother is severely malnourished or immunosuppressed and her breastmilk does not contain all the nutrients or antibodies that it should, then we have a problem. It might be advisable, in those circumstances, to have some additional form of supplementation for the baby. I am certainly not an expert in this subject, but I do think that there are plenty of grey areas in the subject of breastfeeding.

"There is no harm in allowing a baby to have supplemental formula until the milk is in."

I beg to differ. Marsha Walker wrote an excellant article about the effects of introducing non-human milk products to the neonate gut.

<link>

We do not see the phyisolgical norm in hospitals in relation to birth and breastfeeding. The birth experience can impact the breastfeeding experience to an enourmous degree.

Keep baby with mom. Too often ignorance reigns regarding the the need for mom's biology to have baby around. Tt is more than you push out your baby then milk comes out your boobs. You can't just look at each as independant beings...the mother baby dyad is just that a dyad, they are symbiotic and eacha re dependant on the other for complete the hormonal balance.

Until that is recognised by hospitals and women in general, we will continue to see women have difficulties breastfeeding

Also colostrum is does not have a huge amount of fluid in it. Babies are born with extra fluid on board to level out the playing field of needed fluid for survival (hence the weight loss after birth). If an infant is nursng all the time it is priming the breasts prolactin receptors so that that the mom can make milk. Take that baby away and feed it so it does not stimulate it's mother breasts and those receptor sites shut down...and then what happens...the mother goes home and is not making as much milk as she should.....and down the slippery slope we go.

What we need is consistant care by consistant caregivers a common understanding of the biologogy of the hormones of childbirth and lactation giving consistant information.

And yes mothers who have breast reductions can breastfeed. My friend was one and actually produced more milk for the second child!

http://www.bfar.org/ this is the orgnaization for breastfeeding after reduction.

I always say, if the intentions are to keep all normal and the baby is kept at the center of all the choices (and the mother and baby are idealy kept together) ....then the right choices will always be made and everyone will be happy...especially the baby. And sometimes that means doing something other than exclusively feeding breasmilk.

(I nursed twins with one breast and never gave supplements they nursed for well over ...well they nursed for a long time).

Because if you did, then you are right now telling all of us that a lactation consultant has the right to verbally abuse a woman who is physically incapable of EVER breastfeeding a child and accusing her of child abuse.

Some women cannot breast feed. THEY. CANNOT. BREAST. FEED. EVER. It's not going to happen. This does not give you the right to abuse them.

They don't need nasty characters like you doing your best to make them feel like bad parents because of something over which they have no control.

Would you be willing to go a step further and tell them that since their boobs don't match up to your personal standards that they should be sterilized?

People like you have no business in hospitals, and certainly should be kept far away from new mothers. You seem to think that it is a duty and a calling to deliberately harm anyone who doesn't share your opinions.

I hereby consign you to the Rock of Presumptuous Ninnies, there to be ignored for eternity.

Agreed. My cousin has PKU, so breast milk definitely wasn't perfect for him, and in fact would have caused mental retardation.