I am really struggling to understand how so many folks do not believe the LW's version of events regarding the breastfeeding (whether the in-hospital lactation consultant or the out-hospital folks intruding). Just because you have not experienced this type of zealotry first-hand (either at you or having witnessed it), does not mean it does not happen or that the LW was exaggerating. It does happen. It happens in many parts of the country. And, I am guessing, those who do intrude probably think they are well-meaning advice-givers and probably care little about how they might appear to the mom-in-question. I have not experienced racial bigotry first-hand but I have little doubt that it exists and do not question my friends' credibility when they describe their experiences with it. This is no different. Those who think that the LW is lying or exaggerating, try a broader world view - it does not revolve around you.

Just like all those Vietnam Vets that got spat upon.

And since it happened "somewhere", "sometime", it therefore validates the idea that the country (or the liberal parts anyway) are plagued by roving bands of asshole lactivists just walking around looking for new moms to circle around and taunt.

I DO believe that there are people who try to force the breastfeeding issue. But to answer your question, what made me feel this LW was stretching the truth was the part about complete strangers yelling at her when they see the bottle in her son's car seat. Was she stopped at a red light and a stranger walked up to her car and peeked into it? Was she sitting in a parking lot while her 11 week old son fed himself in the backseat and a stranger just happened to walk by and look in? It just didn't seem right to me. Maybe I don't remember correctly, but most babies can't hold their own bottle at that age (I admit I could be wrong on this). I get the feeling that quite a few of Prudie's LWs stretch the truth in order to appear interesting, get their letter published, or to get some extra sympathy. This letter seemed like one of them to me.

Good point on the bottle and the carseat. I just assumed that it was one of the baby-carrier car seats (infant car seats, I think they are called) on a snap-n-go-type stroller or just being carried around. My youngest are about 21-months-old (yes, they were breastfed for about 14 mos) but I seem to recall that even at 11 weeks, that is the seat of choice. At least in my experience, her description seemed totally plausible.

there are a lot more people out there who pressure us nursing moms to stop nursing than there are nursing moms who pressure formula feeders. i have a ton of friends who formula feed & i never say anything about it...it's their personal choice...but i really resent the formula feeders who tell me i need to stop nursing.

I don't suggest she is lying, or even consciously exaggerating.

And I am not suggesting that some of what she describes is not largely true.

There certainly ARE some pro-nursing zealots who would do that, but for her to encounter so many of them seems statistically improbable. Not saying it COULDN'T happen, but I also seem to have noted a certain degree of unusual emotionalism amongst new mothers that possibly could contribute to her exaggerating the intensity and frequency of these attacks in her own mind.

Just saying....

TH Paine - I think that is also a really good point. It may seem like EVERYONE, and may even be a huge number, but it could also be a much smaller sample than she would let on. But I do believe what she describe is entirely possible.

And, PJ's Mom, I agree with you. It really is nobody's business. We never experienced anyone telling us it was time to top nursing but our kids stopped at about 6 mos, 8 mos and our twins at 14 mos. I am familiar with the askance looks friends of ours have received when they have nursed an "older" toddler (18 mos, 2 yrs or older). Because ours is a community where almost everyone who can does breast feed their infants, the negative attitudes were from former nursing mothers (or their partners), not from folks whom you might describe as formula zealots. But, I would not presume that that did not happen to you or that you are exaggerating.

"...but i really resent the formula feeders who tell me i need to stop nursing."

Of course you do, as have I. All the more reason to be supportive of other moms regardless of their choices, rather than disbelieving or berating them (not that you did that, speaking more broadly here) when they complain of similar treatment from breastfeeding advocates. It's just not something anybody needs to butt into, regardless of what opinion they are pushing.

LOL....It does happen. It is so bad around here that people call the Nursing Nazis. Bottom line, it is nobody's business.

Th Paine:

I don't suggest she is lying, or even consciously exaggerating.

And I am not suggesting that some of what she describes is not largely true.

There certainly ARE some pro-nursing zealots who would do that, but for her to encounter so many of them seems statistically improbable. Not saying it COULDN'T happen, but I also seem to have noted a certain degree of unusual emotionalism amongst new mothers that possibly could contribute to her exaggerating the intensity and frequency of these attacks in her own mind.

Just saying....

I would be entirely inclined to agree with you if I hadn't been around the country and seen the differences location can make. If that LW happens to live in one of the many bastions of earth-crunchy, whole wheat, tofu and granola, politically correct, Nu-Age liberalism (and, please note, I am a liberal for the most part), she could very well be getting assailed on every side. God help her if she's caught bottle feeding that child anything but her own pumped milk (and she'd better not be lactating anything except 100% pure, certified organic soy milk) in some of those towms... <g>

They probably learned from the asshole bible thumpers...

C'mon out to San Francisco. You are sure to offend at least 1 person (or group) within 30 sec of getting off the flight.

smoke:

C'mon out to San Francisco. You are sure to offend at least 1 person (or group) within 30 sec of getting off the flight.

ROFL

I visit SF regularly (I live in Vacaville) and offend gloriously. I once wore a custom made, neon pink tank top with flourescent green lettering saying "Closet Heterosexual" there... just for shits and giggles. While a uniformed police woman was lecturing me about "insensitivity" a blatently gay (as in raving Queens) couple walked up, tapped her on the shoulder and said, "Oh shut up, bitch" before turning to me and asking where they could get one. They loved it.

I gave them the shirt off my back and told them where I'd had it made.

I love the shirt! People shouldn't be so uptight about what others think and do.

moejohn5:

I love the shirt! People shouldn't be so uptight about what others think and do.

No they shouldn't... Fortunately, it can be lots of fun to run around yanking the chains of those who are. I've been doing the shirt thing for years. In the very early 80s I got peeved at the Nu-Age, tree-hugging twits strutting around Martha's Vineyard (the ex-wife's family had a house there). Mind you, I was a liberal, and very ecology minded. But these twits flew in on private planes and then stuck there noses up in the air at anyone who rode a motor scooter instead of a bicycle. I went to a custom T-shirt shop in Edgartown, browsed all of their political slogan shirts out front and then had one special made that said, "Nuke the Gay Baby Born Again Whales for Jesus". The uproar it caused was wonderful... and I am still seeing variations show up in catalogues to this very day. Too damn bad I didn't think to copyright it... <g>