Sorry, but I'm having a little difficulty believing the letter writer is accurately portraying whatever encounters she may have had. I suspect at some level she's feeling guilty over not being able to breastfeed (really? is that a side effect of breast reduction surgery?) and is exagerating some minor incidents into these horrible, nasty, breast feeding al queda fanatics who are accosting her on the street. If the lactation consultant really called her selfish, the woman certainly needs to complain in writing to the hospital since that consultant is patently unfit for her job.

And people driving by are looking in her car and seeing a baby bottle and then shouting things out to her? Really? Where does she live? Where I live you could have a dead body hanging out your rear window and nobody would say a thing.

Sorry, but I just don't buy the whole set up here. New mommy needs to get happy with her decisions, realize that giving new mommies advice has been a universal sport in every society since time began and stop exagerating!

Please read my story I just published in a separate thread.

Yeah, I read it. I'd give you the same advice.

It all does sound over the top, but I believe LW and Rhosyn. Moving won't cut it.

We have two kids, there were bottles used. Many friends used bottles with their kids. I'm trying to figure out if this is real, because it sure doesn't sound like it.

But people are weird, so . . .

Oh, yeah, all the time. You'd be amazed at how obnoxious people can be about this.

My friend calls them "Boob Nazis".

It does happen.

My sister takes a medication that is contraindicated for breastfeeding and she was harassed when my niece was an infant.

Even when she defended herself and explained the reason, she still received criticism. There were women who postulated that if they were in her shoes, they would clearly do the "right", "unselfish" thing and simply stop taking the medication. Completely out of the question in her situation, but the haters generally assumed she was exaggerating her condition and using the medication as an excuse.

Obviously there were only a few of those conversations. Mostly from holier than thou acquaintances, certainly not strangers in the grocery store. But she was the recipient of a lot of dirty looks, sad head shaking and rolled eyes when she was feeding her daughter out of a bottle in the mall or elsewhere in public. Despite the fact that no one even knew what was IN the bottle!

Luckily for her, her husband does the food shopping and men seem to be immune from having scathing judgment levied their way when they have the audacity to plunk a can of formula in their cart at Costco.

Nipple Nazis need to take it down a notch. And for the ones who find that term offensive? Stop acting so militant and people will stop using over the top terminology to describe your behavior!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I was going to post a whole new topic on this when I saw yours. This seems way too over the top (I also responded as such to the woman right here who started a thread with a similar story.)

And as for the poster who just mentioned all the "dirty looks" when her sister was getting was bottle feeding...how does one know what the "dirty looks" are about? Can she read minds? I can just see it now...mother comes home and frets to family "I was bottle feeding the baby and at some point someone rolled their eyes at me and HOW DARE THEY CRITICIZE MY BOTTLE FEEDING!" Um, what? Seems more like self-consciousness and paranoia when you insist you know what strangers walking by are thinking.

I've been around countless women with babies; some with bottles, some without. Some pumped breast milk into bottles, some used formula. And NONE fo those women have been the center of all passers'-by attention.

The way the LW and the other poster make it sound, bottle-feeding mothers are stepping into a war zone by walking in a grocery store. I for one don't give a flying fig what's in a baby's bottle. In fact, I rarely even look at you or your baby. Sorry to disappoint you!

I absolutely believe this scenario. I can't imagine this happening in the part of the country where I grew up, but in the area I live now, this sort of attitude--accompanied by the belief that it's perfectly proper to vent one's opinions re: others' child-rearing choices--is widespread. And as another responder indicated, those who *tsk-tsk* at the use of bottles are fairly clearly showing the kind of ignorance that accompanies this level of rudeness; it's just as likely that a bottle is full of expressed breastmilk as anything else.

And one's ability to nurse certainly can be affected by breast-reduction surgery. Like with most surgical procedures, everyone responds differently.

Sorry Greensleaves, but this does happen. "Where does she live" you ask? Possibly Seattle, where I live and where I, a husband and father, have witnessed this sort of thing first hand.

Our doctor referred us to a lactation consultant to help me get our first daughter to accept bottle fed breast milk so I could do some night feedings and let my dangerously sleep-deprived wife try to get more sleep.

The consultant basically told me that my wife wasn't trying hard enough and that she should learn to nurse while sleeping on her side. This was darkest grayest winter in Seattle, a time when new mothers are especially vulnerable to post-partum depression. When I reminded her that our doctor had referred us to her as someone who might help with breast-milk bottle feeding she responded, "Well, I know your doctor and she put her career ahead of her breast-feeding." WTF??

I have watched with regret as so many aspects of maternity and child-birth have been dogmatized for women, and they are frequently made to feel like failures if they cannot be perfect full-time breast feeders, or have a "natural" childbirth. This kind of pressure really undermines the incredible beauty of a woman's unique ability to bring life into the world. As a husband, father it is saddening to watch.
Daniel

Greensleeves, you sound like a jerk (I originally had a stronger word here but didn't want to be too rude). You call into doubt that a woman might not be able to breastfeed after having breast reduction surgery when it's obviously a procedure you know nothing about. Rhosyn was calm and balanced in telling her story, and you'd give her the same advice- stop exaggerating. Why don't you just admit that you know nothing about the subject?

I’m sure the women who are harassing this lady are smug in the belief that they are good mothers because they breastfed their children. But if the kids are in tow while Mommy accosts and harangues total strangers, what are they learning? Their IQ scores may be a few points higher thanks to breast milk but their characters and personalities will probably be awful. Way to go – teach your child to be rude, judgmental and unmerciful. Accosting strangers is also just unwise. One day one of the boob Nazis is going to berate someone meaner and nuttier than she is.

I'm sure these people who, out of the blue, decide to comment on your grocery cart for having formula are the same ones that tsk you for having non organic produce. In their own demented way they are trying to "save" your (and your baby's) health. It's similar to the vocal bible thumpers.

It is proven that breast feeding will benefit the baby's long term health and that's why professionals are so adamant about pushing it. Granted, sometimes too far. There are some mothers that are physically unable to breast feed and that's fine. But for every woman that is physically unable to there are three more that just don't want to. It's hard to see a child paying the price for a mother's selfishness.

It's not okay to approach strangers and comment on their personal life. But I think that a lot of these times, a guilt ridden mother will take to heart a simple comment made by a well meaning person.

And by the way, yes I breastfed as long as I could which was nowhere near the length of time recommended. And I felt the guilts too! But to comment on the other extreme, breast feeding for 2 - 3 years is really ooky!

Living with a boob nazi ain't all bad. I've got some happy mammaries.

Sorry but I'm with Greensleeves on this one. The places I lived (NY and NJ) we could have a dead body hanging out of the trunk too, and no one but cops would bat an eyelash. Wherever the letter writer lives (probably a small town) folks have way too much time on their hands.