Cotton's bad! Wool's bad!

Well, just what the hell are we supposed to wear??

Fur? Puh-LEEZE! Do we want the Peta-philes throwing buckets of excrement on us?

Silk? Not much good in the winter. But wait! Global Warming will end winter forever! Or will it...

Well...what about polyesters? No way!! In addition to being "infra dig" for the hoity-toity set given to handwringing about the environment, polys are made from... petroleum products!!!

Whaaa?...That means all those Mid-westerners out on the town in their "Full Clevelands" were unknowingly supporting the Saudis! The bastards!

So poly is out.

Hemp clothing? Now we're getting somewhre. It's "natural", and it has an interesting by-product Slate readers all know and love.

But oops! Marijuana use causes cancer. (sorry to be "harshing your buzz"). And hemp's not nearly as versatile as cotton or hemp when you try to turn it into a useful fabric. If it were humans would have chosen it over...cotton and wool. they didbn't.

Linen? It's natural too, but.... no good for keeping out the cold. and (ick) it wrinkles. Not a Beautiful People kind of choice.

So ... what's an eco-friendly tree-hugging Algore luvin' weenie supposed to do?

The answer of course is to go around naked, year round. Yeah, that's it!!!

If you are among the bed-wetters who worry themselves SICK over these faux issues... Get a grip.

Articles like this just make you look like fools.

That was too funny. I will be laughing about it for a while. Only sad part is that it was all true. Why is it that the hemp lobbyists that I know always look like stoners? Because they are and their real reason for promoting it is not to wear it, but to smoke it. Maybe Industrial Hemp has unusable level of THC - don't really know. If it is so good, then we should be running our pickup trucks on it. Do the tailpipe emissions have THC if running on Industrial Hemp fuel?