Bite him!

Okay, I don't mean that-- but anyone old enough to compose the sentence "I am a dragon" is capable of processing the instruction that "biting anyone is not allowed."

And I doubt the guilt-ridden relative actually hit the kid hard enough. Biting is serious business and if this kid has bitten more than one person one time, his parents have not been sufficiently vigilant in dealing with his problem. Maybe the relative should inform the inlaws that as he has a fatal and communicable disease that it might be a good idea to keep the nephew from biting him again.

I would have hit him into next week. NO ONE is going to bite me. MY 3 year old nephew started "spitting". It happened once and once only. I totally went off...especially since it was in MY home. I got the look of "How dare you say anything to my child?!" He's a monster!

I went through a biting phase when I was about 2. I am now 33. I have a job and own my home. I have turned out pretty ok.

My mom said to break me of my biting habit...she started biting me back. She said she would do it hard enough to hurt, but not hard enough to bruise or break skin. It took two times before I stopped biting.

I think getting popped up side the head, may help the kid in the long run.

They are the ones raising a brat, not the kids fault.

wadswae:

My mom said to break me of my biting habit...she started biting me back. She said she would do it hard enough to hurt, but not hard enough to bruise or break skin. It took two times before I stopped biting.

I like your mom. When I did that to my little brother (albeit with a lot less forethought), I got yelled at. At least the message sunk in!

dumb_blonde:

They are the ones raising a brat, not the kids fault.

You don't know that they are raising a brat. I think you are off base. Lots of pre-schoolers bite and it's a real problem for many parents.

Telling someone not to hit your kid does not mean you are raising a brat. I think the BIL handled it well by acknowledging that it was a reflex on the part of the LW. Furthermore, the BIL had to say something to the LW about hitting--otherwise the nephew might think that hitting is OK. To avoid "raising a brat"--guess what--you gotta teach kids that it's not OK to hit, regardless of what someone else does to you.

The BIL admonished the ADULT in front of the child and did nothing to correct the child's behavior. The child has a history of bad behavior and that it is a continuous problem rings like a bell that the parents are not responding to correct the action.

I say Bite the BIL back and the next time pull that kid over you knee and give him a good solid bare bottom spatule top. then paint all bitable surfaces with cayenne pepper powder mixed with Murphy's oil soap paste. It works for cribbers.

Annie must not have read the letter.

I have no problem with (reasonable) corporal punishment, and with punishments which fit the crime. I bit my nephew when I was a kid and got tired of him biting me. I got in major trouble, but while he continued to bite others for months, he left me alone.

However, knocking a kid across a room is NEVER acceptable. If you can't control your anger better than that, stay away from kids.

We don't know the parents did nothing to the kid. They weren't admonishing the adult in front of the kid, because the kid "ran to his room".

I had a friend who finally visted our home with her toddler. He proceeded to open every drawer and cupboard door in my kitchen to which I gave him a firm and resonding slap on the hand with the command "No" stated in the voice of Thusla Doom. The kid was startled, my friend was startled and my kids stopped in their tracks knowing someone had done something that broke the rules. I explained to the kid clearly and loud enough for everyone to hear that good people do not snoop in other people's personal property. The kid avoided me and behaved the next few visits until he grew out of that phase. I am much more harsh in super markets. I have returned children to parents with collars and leashes.

"My mom said to break me of my biting habit...she started biting me back. "

Wadswae, my mom did the exact same thing. It worked for me too. I am now 35 and turned out fine. I actually think it is BETTER to bite the kid with a biting problem than to smack him, spank him, or give him a time out because it is a very clear and direct way to clarify why biting is not ok. Even a young kid can understand it.

Here, here Heleva! That is exactly what is missing in today's child rearing!

But your methods might "damage" the child self worth! Oh what to do now? They might not grow up to believe that the world revolves around them and their wants!

(That last part was sarcasm if someone doesn't catch it.)

My entire side of in laws think that I am a monster because I make my children eat what they put on their plate, say please and thank you and otherwise act like a civilized human being. They are still kids but they must learn to respect others!

With the advent of my son's wedding I get a chance to grill my kids about my raising methods and if they were draconian or permissive. Because with regards to freedom if it was an intellectual pursuit I had no boundaries but I did take the time to make sure they understood things as best as possible for their age. I do believe in boundaries not just for manners but for personal safety. How many times has a toddler innocuously pulled a drawer completely out of its frame to be hurt from falling contents? Pulled things off a stove etc. To stay close in heavy traffic when you are a pedestrian or in a crowd. Its bloody common sense to teach that early. Compound that with the fact my children's father was a vet. Huge animals don't care if the kid is cute when they invade the animal's territory. Tractors don't have rear view mirrors. I may exaggerate a little in my examples and some are just sarcasm but with a grain of uncomfortable truth.

I had the occasion a couple of weeks ago to discuss child-rearing with my college son, in reference to a magazine article and comparing his upbring to that of his friends. He actually expressed appreciation that I was so hard on him, as many of his friends literally can't function on their own, even though they are as mentally capable as he is.