Dear Far Away and Forgotten Daughter,

I have to say, the fact that you call the woman a gold digger without having ever met her makes me suspicous. Is your dad rich? Perhaps your hostility to his wife has translated as, "Don't spend my inheritance."

The problem is that it sounds like both you and your brother were hostile to your father's wife from the get-go. I understand that you were angry over how he treated your mother, but the reality is that your parents' relationship is their business. I wouldn't write a letter detailing all your hurts, it's not going to come out well. Instead, invite your dad, his wife and her kids to your place. Tell your dad that you miss him and would like to get to know his wife.

But either way, if you don't accept his wife, don't expect to see much of your dad.

PhysicsGirl

Dear Talk or Deal,

You missed a golden opportunity to sit down and watch it with him, and then perhaps re-enact some of the scenes. In any case, after you watch a movie with a hot actor and a lot of sex scenes, do you think about the hot actor when making love to your husband? No? Why would he? He's married to you, and you say that you guys have a great sex life. So I highly doubt he's pining over a porn star. I suggest you ask him if the next time he watches porn, he invites you along. You'll see that it's not a threat.

PhysicsGirl

Dear Tired of the Dumb Questions,

Where do you live?!? Yes, there are plenty of ignorant americans but very few that display that level of ignorance. If asked a silly question, a short response is all that is necessary. So if someone asks you if Africans live in trees, you can simply reply, "No." Don't be too harsh with the ignorant who are attempting to learn more. We don't want to frighten them into continued ignorance.

PhysicsGirl

Dear Wishing for a "Closer",

Ask him out to coffee. See what happens after that. This isn't rocket science. If you like the guy, think he may be interested and he hasn't asked you out, then ask him out.

PhysicsGirl

excellent answers!

Great answers.

My hubby sometimes will rent a porn flick. I personally don't enjoy watching porn movies at all (they actually turn me off!!!!), but I do enjoy reading those "bodice rippers" or romance books. So, while hubby watches his movie, I read my - as he says - "dirty books". He's not threatened by the hero in my book and I'm not threatened by the porn star.

So if LW2 doesn't like to watch porn, but likes to read, this could be an alternative.

Totall agree, spot on PhysicsGirl.

I was asking myself some of the same questions: where in the US can people be so ignorant to think that Africans live in trees? and why not sit down to join the spouse (what would be the right way for her (or him) to approach that? I am guessing the guy would be thrilled to have his wife join him for viewing but probably assumes she would be, at best, turned off and, at worst appalled and offended)?

I do need some help in interpreting one of Pru's comments: is she saying that the husband is unlikely to confess, unlikely to be helpless or unlikely to be addicted to porn (or all three)? What do you think she meant? People should realize that a man (or woman) who is "caught" looking at porn is not necessarily "addicted" to it. There is a big difference between the occasional glimpse, the frequent visit and the outright addiction. My guess is that he looks on occasion (like MANY (most?) men I know) but it clearly had not gotten in the way of his life (both in and out of the bedroom) or she would have noticed.

in all seriousness, if we had electricity in Edmonton and Calgary.

Nothing surprises me any more.

So let's look at this week's letters:

Daddy won't give me a present.
My husband watches porn.
Some people are stupid jerks.
A cute guy didn't ask me out.

None of this is rocket science. All would be answered "So what?" by many people. THIS is the best they could come up with this week?

Now, THAT I'd understand. Any place where you take dog sleds to work . . .

I gave him a whole line about putting on layers of fur before going out to kill dinner. Then I explained how to use an outhouse in -50. I was laughing the whole time. He didn't get it.

MessyONE:

in all seriousness, if we had electricity in Edmonton and Calgary.

Yep. Being a Texan, I have to take the horse in for new shoes. And I'll need a fresh pair of boots and a new hat while I'm out. And maybe some more bullets for the six-shooters I tote about.

I'm not saying that there aren't some people that ignorant! It just suprised me that it would be a problem that happened often enough he felt the need to write into an advice column.

Of course, upon learning that I'm a physicist I get some pretty great questions myself. My personal favorite was, "Do ships and airplanes disappear from the Bermuda triangle because the spin of the earth at the equator spins them off into space?"

Hey, let's be fair. When I was in France, I got the "do you live in an igloo/so you're what eskimos look like" thing with EVERY person I met. When I tell people from down south (i.e. lower 48) I'm from Alaska, I've only gotten the stupid Alaskan questions about half the time. Most Americans are more curious about the light/dark times of the year (which is not applicable to my part of the state).

I'm Canadian, so I don't generally run into the dumb questions in Europe. They pretty much love us over there. It's the whole WW I and II thing.

If you want to have some fun, ask if you can order a block heater for your car in Texas...we did ask that, and the guy had never heard of that before. It was at Honda. Sad. We asked because we move a lot - a block heater is like a fridge, you just get one.

Regarding porn.

A guy who says he doesn't watch porn is lying to you.. and that may be because he cares about you.

Look, guys know that girls don't necessarily understand the male need for porn. There's something to be said for all guys who, after being caught, claim their future innocence and make a point to be more careful when seducing themselves in the future. However, girls need to understand why males need their space and time.. and to be confident in themselves enough to give it to him unquestionably.

Girls - what's the equivalent reaction to ball-busting a guy who you see watching porn? Think about how you'd react if every time you picked up a danielle steel novel, your husband ran in the room, pushed the book through a portable paper shredder he carried with him for the purpose, and demanded you go to at least a month of therapy to continue the relationship.

Sound like too much? Then don't complain about porn. The relevancy to your relationship is the same. Women like words, men like pictures... everyone appreciates understanding.

If the woman isn't satisfied with promises of "it won't happen again," the problem is not with the man.. it's with the woman's underlying insecurity and erroneous belief that she can actually control another person's subconscious impulses.

Prudie, it's well past time you took the advice of Loveline's Dr. Drew on this subject, because you're flat-out wrong.

Try having a baptist look for your horns.

We had a physics major as an intern once, and we asked her a question we never really got an answer to.

If there were a hole drilled through the earth at the axis of spin, and someone dropped a ball which could not melt or burn into it, what would happen? Would it go to the center and stop, come out the other end, bounce back and forth, or what?

It was an ME who came up with this, not me!