I would have never asked my husband to have a vasectomy.

Supposing I had an affair and got a bun in the oven from the extra-marital hottie.

MY HUSBAND WOULD HAVE KNOWN!

An elderly man was on his death bed, and his wife came in to see him. He had worked up his courage for quite a while to ask this question:

"Honey, I am going to be gone soon. Something has been troubling me for a long time. I need to ask you something."

"Ask me anything," she said.

He continued, "Our youngest, Tommie, doesn't look or act like our other children. I have suspected for a long time that he's not really mine. So tell me, who is Tommie's father?"

She started crying, and told him, "Oh, sweetie! I didn't think you'd ask that. I can't tell you; it would hurt you too much."

"It doesn't matter now, " he went on. "I'll be gone soon, and I really want to know. Who is it?"

"Well," now sobbing, she said this: "Tommie is yours."