Prudence hit it right on the buttom with her answer - I was howling!

I wonder what that Adonis looks like and what kind of physical shape he is in! I could see that poor woman having a lifetime of never measuring up to his high standards.

Hey a guy could look like John Candy and still hold the women to a higher standard.

Yeah, she needs to lose 150+ lbs., in the form of her jerk of a boyfriend. Prudie hit it right on the head with her answer.

Prudence advises the young man to keep the girlfriend who steals wallets. Then she tells a young woman to dump her boyfriend who simply wants her to lose weight. This is no crime; she would probably be healthier and happier. But keeping money one finds in another’s wallet is a crime.

NaCN:

Prudence advises the young man to keep the girlfriend who steals wallets. Then she tells a young woman to dump her boyfriend who simply wants her to lose weight. This is no crime; she would probably be healthier and happier. But keeping money one finds in another’s wallet is a crime.

Spot on, mate! Excellent comment.

Prudence needs her head examined, especially asking a guy to stay with his thief girlfriend. One time lapse? Incredulous! People proclaim they love a honest person and the moment the guy is honest (asking her to lose pounds), he is chastised. People's problem lies in their inability to deal with honesty.

Asking a person to lose 20 pounds as a prerequisite to marriage is reprehensible... it will only be a matter of time before he makes some other demand: become blond; act Hispanic; bring in a third person. This is not about health or even 'hotness'. This is about control, pure and simple. There lies the very seed of an abusive relationship. GET OUT NOW!

The guy's a loser, but it's not about control at all. He wants a skinny wife. Most guys do. There are lots of girls I would consider dating if they were more fit. That's not about control, it's about preference. At least you can control weight - a lot of women won't date a guy that's shorter than they are, but since you can't control that, there's no value in the "I wish you were taller" conversation, so they just don't date short guys in the first place.

I'm not defending the guy, he's a chump. But let's not say a guy wanting a skinny wife is some deep-seated psychological issue and that he'll become abusive. Please. People have preferences, some are just idiots about acting on them.

I love this comment. It is absolutely right!

SGriffin:

Asking a person to lose 20 pounds as a prerequisite to marriage is reprehensible... it will only be a matter of time before he makes some other demand: become blond; act Hispanic; bring in a third person. This is not about health or even 'hotness'. This is about control, pure and simple. There lies the very seed of an abusive relationship. GET OUT NOW!

Sweetie, if you are reading any of these, go get yourself a pair of those really nice Uggs boots. Then get the song: "These Boots Are Made For Walking."

No man is worth your self esteem and self worth: you are gorgeous no matter what you actually look like. Your man just wants a trophy wife and as soon as you guys have children-- when you'll GAIN about 45 lbs to carry the baby-- he will either be unfaithful to you behind your back or just outright leave you. Then he'll come back when you look all fabulous after losing the weight and his current squeeze is fat with his next kid and the cycle will repeat itself.

The last phrase of this comment is total truth: If you lose the 20 pounds because HE asked you to or you felt like you had to do it to win his love, he's won. He'll get it into his Neanderthal head that, if he asks you to do something, you'll do it. "Hey, sweetie? Can you wake up at 430 and make me a GOOD breakfast?" If he doesn't get what he wants, he'll become like a spoiled child--except possibly more violent. Get out NOW.

Wow, what is it with these Prudie posters???? Every other letter trots out the tired old accusations of controlling, abusive potentially violent men! He probably is a pedophile and dog hater as well.

PS: She is not going lose the weight after the baby, there is only one way the needle on the scale goes, and that is up and up and up.

The problem with your comment, Bucephalas, is that there's honesty without being a jerk. My husband likes skinny women, but at this very moment, I am 7 months pregnant with his child-- decidedly NOT skinny. He has not asked me to lose weight--because I can't right now-- and he is not seeking entertainment elsewhere. If the 20lbs the boyfriend asked her to lose were because of health reasons ("Baby, I'm worried about your health"), I would understand that. But this poor girl is saying that the guy won't propose to her until she loses 20lbs. That's a very selfish reason, to want a gorgeous wife so HE can look good. That's all this guy wants is to look good for society.

Spackle: Biology notwithstanding, this era is different. Note your use of "control"--that's what this boyfriend is trying to do. Any real man would see that real women have curves...

(man, I wish I could find the edit function...)

Thatguy: If you want to put it that way, then every man that is actually a GOOD man is gay or taken and the ones that write Prudie asking for advice are wimpy men.

Not true about the baby weight, btw. I have a friend that lost all the baby weight and then some after about 4 months...

She would probably be healthier and happier? How can you say something so ridiculous, without knowing what she now weighs? If she's a healthy weight, she could possibly become underweight. If she's at the lower end of her healhy weight, or already underweight, this 10 lbs. could be dangerous. She's probably not overweight, or he'd be asking her to lose a lot more, but then again, they probably wouldn't be together...hmm... I think I've just discovered a benefit to being fat!

Umm... I didn't write that... unless you're refering to a prior post.

If they were happily married, and he wanted her to lose 20 lbs for health reasons, that would be one thing. But telling her to lose weight before he'll marry her is quite another. For one very practical thing, if she loses 20 lbs under duress, she will probably gain it back. She's obviously not naturally skinny or devoted to a life of 900 calorie diets and constant workouts. So, is he going to divorce her when she gains a few pounds later on? Also, probably he won't marry her anyway because he'll worry she'll get fat again. If being stick thin is not her habit, she needs to find someone who is okay with that.

I have a friend who is heavy but very attractive otherwise. She was quite serious with one guy, but when he met her mother (who is heavier and less attractive), he immediately dumped her, I guess because he saw her future. She was devastated but soon met a great guy who thought she was pretty as she was. They're very happy, and she actually weighs -- 12 years later -- roughly the same as she always did.

He's a shallow asshole and she should walk away, pronto. You don't choose a marriage partner based on the number on the scale.