My politics and opinions on social issues are definitely in the park with your bosses, but you know what? I'd be on eggshells too.

I don't, for instance, think impact is more important than intent (interesting phrase); I tend to work the other way, but also, if impact IS more important, then their actions towards you fail that standard. Their impact on you is to make you feel insulted, belittled, and tricked.

If you want to stay there, you could point that out. One of the good things of being there might be exposure to some of these ideas. A lot of these ideas (about "girlfriend", "lady") are ideas that had their heyday 25 years ago or so, but not really something being bandied around in popular culture these days. There's no reason why you would have encountered the idea before.

What I'm saying is, they're just plain rude, and they don't have people smarts. It isn't excusable. But I have to remind the world: they act this way because they're jerks, not because they hold radical or feminist ideas.

The revolution can be cheerful!

Rebecca, I agree with you. I'm a feminist but I'm no jerk.

I say girlfriend and lady all the time and nobody here in the south has a problem with it. What's wrong with being a "wonderful lady"? It's a compliment, for cryin' out loud!

I think this poor guy (hope that's acceptable) gets another job because I don't think he can win with those B's.

I'm another feminist and I agree wholeheartedly with both of you.

Something makes me suspect that these women are the type who spell woman "womyn" and say "herstory" instead of "history". I've often wondered what feminists who did that were trying to accomplish.

He clearly seems conscious of not making major boo-boos (like saying that there's nothing he likes to see more than a woman who's barefoot and pregnant). He's using terms accepted by most of the population like girlfriend. His bosses need to stop what they're doing because I could see some legal issues for them....

I've always found the remaming of things silly. We all know what a "woman" is. Spelling it "womyn" doesn't empower us, change history, or really do anything beyond annoy people.

Feminists should work for equality, not some weird spelling metric. Especially since working for the latter annoys enough people that they aren't going to help us with the former.

I have a problem with the whole Miss/Mrs. thing. Why do we have to be labeled according to our marital status? Men aren't. I'm no longer a Miss, yet I have my own last name so to call me Mrs. Mermaid, well, that's not right either, and besides, it's nobody's business if I'm married and I don't appreciate a title that gives away any personal information about myself without my consent. Yet, if one pipes up with "Ms." you might as well just raise one fist in the air while you say it because then you get the "oh, one of those". I refuse to allow the prefix to my given name to be applied.

Who gets upset when you use the term "Ms."? If I am ever addressing a woman formally with a prefix, I always use Ms., because I don't know, nor care, whether she is married or not.

Why not just "Mrs" for all women? Just like it's "Mr" for all men. And then just abolish the use of "Miss."

In fact, that's how it was in the first place. When Dowland wrote "Mrs. Taylor's Galliard," he wasn't refering to a married lady, because the term "Miss" hadn't been invented yet.

It's a lose/lose/lose because Mrs. makes you sound like an old woman, Miss makes you sound like a little kid, and Ms. tends to evoke an image of the type of feminist that this guy's bosses are. At least to me, and seemingly to mermaid33 and plenty of other as well.

Hmm. The idea of adding this stress makes me glad I'm doing for Dr.

Me too. Glad to use the Dr. title. Keeps 'em guessing. :-)

mermaid33:

I have a problem with the whole Miss/Mrs. thing. Why do we have to be labeled according to our marital status? Men aren't. I'm no longer a Miss, yet I have my own last name so to call me Mrs. Mermaid, well, that's not right either, and besides, it's nobody's business if I'm married and I don't appreciate a title that gives away any personal information about myself without my consent. Yet, if one pipes up with "Ms." you might as well just raise one fist in the air while you say it because then you get the "oh, one of those". I refuse to allow the prefix to my given name to be applied.

On forms with a check box for title, I leave 'em all blank. The only ones who need to know my gender are my husband and medical professionals. Teh only ones who need to know anything about my marital status are my family and insurance companies.

PhysicsGirl:

Hmm. The idea of adding this stress makes me glad I'm doing for Dr.

That makes the most sense. Only use titles that are earned. Although, I have to admit it's annoying when I go to an office, and the personnel rfer to my by my given name. What to do?