First let me say that it is fine to love your dogs and cats ... but not everyone feels it necessary to express that love to them physically. Quite frankly, there's something not quite right in the head when you prefer to lavish your emotional and physical attention on a cat or dog ... to the detriment of your husband, boyfriend, and own children! Also some people are allergic to animals, and to many people, they do not smell good. No normal human being wants to be treated like any animal ... so don't try to pet the head or any other part of the body of a boyfriend of husband ... wife or girlfriend. We find it very demeaning. Is it really more important to you to sleep with your dog or cat ... than with your husband or boyfriend? That's pretty sick! How would you like to be considered last after a dog or cat?

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE WHEN THEY TREAT ANIMALS BETTER THAN THE HUMAN BEINGS IN THEIR LIVES? Prudie ... I think you and they need a shrink to work on your emotional immaturity in preferring and putting your animals above the people in your life ... to say nothing of how kinky it is to sleep with a dog or cat! As doctor Phil would say ... What were you thinking?

I love animals, but this whole 'pets are my kids' thing going on lately (pushed by a multi-billion pet-care industry, no doubt) really is sick.

I asked a co-worker who insisted she was a 'parent' to her cats: So I asked her, who's at home watching your kitties right now? So, if you had a kid, you'd leave a bowl of food and water on the floor and then take off to work?

Come to think of it, after that exchange she probably put her cats in 'kitty day care' in a fluster of 'parental concern'. Sad that people really think that owning a pet is the same as having a kid.

Listen to a Petco ad...they call them 'pet parents' now, because it's politically incorrect to say 'pet owner'.

There are many people who allow pets to sleep on the bed or sit on the sofa. I didn't read anywhere in the letter that she also treats the man as less than the dog. The real problem is two-fold: 1. The don't agree on how to treat a pet. Fine, but that doesn't make either one right or wrong - they simply don't agree. If they can't compromise, they part ways. I don't understand your comment that she was treating the man worse than the dog?? HOWEVER, 2. He was actively abusive to the dog - deliberately terrorizing it, scaring it and physically abusing it. I don't care if it's "just a dog," abuse is abuse - and he's abusive. He'd be out of my house hotter than you can say, "Down, boy."

You are right about him being abusive ... and that is definitely wrong and a strong signal to get him out of her life. But when she knows he does not like the dog and considers the dog more important to her life than having him in it ... well that is putting the dog before the man! In this case ... that's a good thing ... for I'm a little afraid he could be abusive to her and others, as well.

First dog tale - woman has dog, seems like nice dog, not overly coddled. Woman has boyfriend, seems like abusive a-hole. Keep dog, put boyfriend in pound, check to ensure pound performs euthanasia after 30 days.

Second dog tale - woman pleads for dog, husband relents. Woman gets Cujo. Husband wants Cujo sent to pound described above. Woman claims she is not picking dog ahead of husband. Bull, that is exactly what she is doing. She tried with dog, it didn't work. Send dog back to rescue center before husband finds his own place, one where he matters.

Geat post! I couldnt agree more!

jburd1, you beat me to it! I think you've summarized the differences of these two letters the best.

I fail to understand why a woman should be so quick to give up something she loves the second a "boyfriend" comes into play. What if the letter were completely reworded in that "dog" was about her favorite "hobby?" What if a man wrote that his girlfriend was demanding he give up watching football for the rest of his life? OH GOD NOOOO!!!!!

No, animals do not come before people. But on the flip side of that, why can't her boyfriend put her human feelings first, and respect what she loves, and stop acting like such an immature asshat in dealing with a defenseless animal? You care about the girlfriend, then get some enjoyment watching her love a friendly pet. What is it with people hating what their significant other's love? It's not putting the dog first to simply use that as an example to seriously question this man's ability to extend his feelings beyond himself.

Man hurts dog = Not nice man = Not nice to people, either

People who deliberately harm animals are scum. She needs to send the man to the pound.

bzl:

I fail to understand why a woman should be so quick to give up something she loves the second a "boyfriend" comes into play. What if the letter were completely reworded in that "dog" was about her favorite "hobby?" What if a man wrote that his girlfriend was demanding he give up watching football for the rest of his life? OH GOD NOOOO!!!!!

It makes me absolutely sick, when I hear of someone giving up animals, hobbies, even their families because a significant other comes along? People need to stop being so wishy washy and letting life "happen" to them.

bzl:

No, animals do not come before people. But on the flip side of that, why can't her boyfriend put her human feelings first, and respect what she loves, and stop acting like such an immature asshat in dealing with a defenseless animal?

Yup! It works two ways. Some people here expect her to consider her boyfriend's feelings, but what about hers? Why should she give up something she loves, because an emotionally stunted jerk is jealous of a dog?

People that love their pets are simply pet lovers. I think that people that don't like pets, are simply people that pets don't like. Maybe because pets can tell if the person in question is not quite right in the head or abusive. If pets don't like you... oh, I mean if you don't like pets, fine, don't have them, they would prefer to live with somebody that would love them anyway.

Just because the woman is upset about how her boyfriend treats her dog doesn't mean she treats her dog better than humans. Like any person that has pets, she expects the people that come into her home, to treat her dog kindly. If somebody were to come into my home and treat my pets like that, I'd tell them to leave and not come back. The boyfriend in question is, in my opinion, jealous and controlling. I think she should get rid of him ASAP and be glad she never had kids with him.

I'm sure that Dr. Phil wouldn't think that people are emotionally immature becasue they love their pets. And I certainly don't think that ANYBODY IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would think that letting a pet sleep on a bed is kinky. My pets sleep wherever they feel like sleeping. I'm sure my kids would just love to hear me say that their pets couldn't sleep with them because it's kinky. They'd probably check me into a looney bin for that one. Oh and if pets on beds are kinky, then letting a child sleep in a parents bed should surely get them arrested...

silveryaspen:

... to say nothing of how kinky it is to sleep with a dog or cat!

What? No, seriously...what?!

*blink*

Since when is the mere act of being in the same bed, sleeping, considered "kinky"...?

You talk of emotional immaturity. I'd say the assumption that the only reason two beings, human or otherwise, would be on the same piece of furniture for an extended period of time is so they can have sex is a much more glaring example of such.

silveryaspen:

Also some people are allergic to animals, and to many people, they do not smell good.

If you were one of those people who are allergic to or repulsed by dogs, and you met someone you knew had a dog, would you start dating them?

Wow, missed that one!

Actually, the cats snore more quietly than The Boy, and they take up less room. I would make a crack about the shedding, but that would be mean.

bzl:

I fail to understand why a woman should be so quick to give up something she loves the second a "boyfriend" comes into play.

That's how I got my nephew. His mother chose her new boyfriend over her son, and gave him up for open adoption, shortly before his first birthday.

I have noticed over the years that woman who gives up something she deeply loves for some man usually ends up both without that something AND without the man.

The very worst case I personally saw was a woman whose boyfriend was absolutely fine with her dog - until the wedding. After they married, he demanded she get rid of it. And she, the moron, was trying to find a new home for the dog. If I had married him and been deceived in that way, he would have hit the pavement in front of my house head-first within 30 seconds.