Prudie,

I usually enjoy your collum and find interesting the advice and comments by others. HOWEVER, I must say that it must have been an off day or the situation pushed a button for you to advise to send the photos in an unsigned note !???

The note could be taken as a threat, extortion of worse by the woman, her husband and the authorities. What happened to simple honesty? Hi, I'm your neighbor. I was walking on Elm Street and found this on the ground. I thought you should ba aware. And that's the end of it. KISS. Keep It Sweet and Simple.

Now, your personal fantasies that perhaps the husband had done it so he could get a thrill of others knowing how hot his wife was is sureal. What kind of neighborhood do you live in? If you want to suppose, why only men as villians? Is this a dark side of you that is poping out? Maybe she was advertising to teens and stay-at-home men to come by for an afternoon delight. Maybe a teen (male or female.. see step-child article) had found them or took them and is "getting even". WHY SUPPOSE AT ALL? Just say there could be many explainations. Be honest. Covering up or keeping secret information that may be mis-information is the basis of all situation comedies. Why make that real life?

When giving advice, all ramifications must be considered. It is a difficult job that you usually do well. I ask you reconsider this piece of advice and spend a little time in self reflection. After many years of being a therapist, I have found that most situations can be solved with honesty (either of self, with others, in communications, actions...) Honesty that is coupled with compassion, polite manners and respectful courtesy. Say what you mean, mean what you say and do not say it mean. More problems are made worse by what one supposes in their head than the real truth. You may not like the truth, but then you can choose to face it and deal with it. Or, as they say, Speak now or forever hold your piece. How would you feel if an unsigned letter arrived with a local postmark and had a naked photo of you? Saying found these all over town...

In her stupid and misguided reply, El Prudio NEVER mentioned whether the finder was a man or wman.

The choices are thus:

If the finder is a man, there is absolutely no question of the DISASTER of going to the woman in the pics.
If the finder finds that he/she cannot keep his/her pinocchio nose out of it, then talk with the husband, IF YOU ARE A MALE.

If the finder is a woman, what the hell are you doing every day with the husband??
Are you sure it is ONLY as transportation to work?
If you ARE a woman, then you "might" speak with the "neighborhod model".

I'd say the best thing would be to STAY THE HELL OUT OF IT AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
It is not YOUR spouse in the pics.

BTW-What street do you live on;)

I agreee with you, with one qualification: I would ask my wife to bring the pictures over, rather than doing it myself. If the neighbor lady was previously unaware of these pics, it would be less embarrassing to her for a woman to bring them to her. If the neighbor lady is advertising, sending my wife would presumably crimp that aspiration.

Hey, what's wrong with just walking up to the neighbor and saying, "um, this is really embarrassing, but I think this is yours. I found it on the street" and handing her the photo? You'll probably be able to tell from the expression on her face or her body language if the pictures are "advertising" or the result of a smear. If it's the latter, promise to help her by gathering up all the prints you see and disposing of them. You'll earn her trust and make a new friend. And more importantly, if she opens up to you, you'll get to the bottom of this mystery.

I believe the NakedLadies husband spread the pics around the hood in order to create a scandal to give him the Mud he would need to Divorce his wife and he might not have to pay Alimony and he would be awarded custudy of his children.

That's a better plan then Murder.

There are plenty of men who like to show off their women, and get off on it. It's not something I'd do, but then you clowns in this thread are plenty proof of the kind of perverts out there.

To the idioto who thinks an anonymous return of the found photo could be interpreted as a thread, I want to ask what kind of mental gamesman he is? If there's no threat, and no demand, then it's not a blackmail letter. Why send it anonymous? Easy answer, Prudie doesn't want the woman feel embarassed if she knew who it came from. Sending it anonymously maintains good neighborly relations. DUH!

Who could have dropped the photos? One of you whackos if she dropped you like a bad habit after getting suckered into cheating on her husband (who's probably like one of you whackos) and finding out the cheater is no better then the cheatee.

Prudie gave good advice.

I have to agree with you, Bill. In my experience, the more embarrassing a situation in which you find yourself, the better it is to face it carefully, yet bluntly. Although I am not a therapist, I am one to whom people tend to come for advice… usually in sexual matters. The more they try to pussyfoot around, the more befuddled we BOTH become. In this matter, were I the victim, I would be much less embarrassed should my neighbor say, “Hey, I, uh, found this on the street. Didn’t know if you knew. Seeya later.” If I had more questions, I’d know where to find him. And, too, when I saw him later on the street I wouldn’t be as uncomfortable, wondering if he had seen them. I would KNOW he had, and was not only honest with me, but concerned about me. Now THAT is the kind of neighbor to have!