Or hot, or whatever the term is these days? I'm asking because I went through a similar experience of being content to sit back and let my colleagues duke it out intellectually, secretly knowing that I was just as bright.

However, what I found (through lots of therapy) that this was more of a protective mechanism once it became a habit. An attractive, smart woman is powerful, even threatening - and being funny, laid-back, a partier, etc may be a way of avoiding 'competing' against those you consider your friends.

This hit home with me after an evaluation in which I was basically called an airhead (I thought I was just devastatingly laid back and funny) - I had no idea that I was perceived this way and was bot crushed and furious. I changed my manner and have been pleased with the results.

This may be advice to remember once you are out in the professional world, but it can't hurt to develop the habit now. Your friends, whatever their motivation, are telling you something you can use to think about how you really want others to perceive you. If you're as smart as you say (which I don't doubt) don't be afraid to enjoy it - graciously and gracefully, of course.

Wow....that's a really interesting take on it that I hadn't considered at all. Thanks a lot for sharing; I'll definitely keep it in mind.