Any Pirate worth his bones begins everything he says with a hearty "Aarrrgh", unless he says "Aaargh Matey"!

Perhaps my most unworthy moment as a manager involved a young pirate and this phrase. Once upon a time, I hired a junior chemist. I wasn't all that impressed with the guy, but we were very shorthanded in the lab and he had a degree, resume and all of the proper courses, so I gave him a shot.

The first day, I knew I had made a mistake, but I figured I'd give the guy a shot, since I had 90 days to give him the boot for failure to perform. Actually I could let him go without cause, but I'm not that bad hearted.

And then a few days later, he came in with a HUGE Gold loop - as in three inches across in one ear.

What was I to do? I called him in for a lab manager/analyst conference and told him that the ear ring placed him under the corporate "pirate rule" and that he would now be required to begin each statement with the words "Aarrrgh Matey".

He failed to see the humor. The next day, I was called into the HR Manager's office to explain my lack of personnel management and HR skills. I patiently explained what had happened, and after the HR manager managed to calm down his laughter, we discussed how I would apologize to the new chemist. And then we called him in and I did. A few weeks later, we caught him dry-labing a test and let him go.

Moral?

Aarrrgh Matey, even Pirates are prohibited from dry-labing.

:o)