We hear all the time how men get made over because they got a girl who talked them into it and actually dressed them. Often enough the guys are grateful. No reason that wouldn't fly in reverse too.

If women time and again get to make men change, even if it is only a reoccuring temporary effect, so can men get women to do the same for them (toilet seat up please, kidding). Need a tomboy ask her to be one and remind her why. Got a tomboy ask her to be a regular girl and remind her why. With women it is all in the approach and probably more so than with men. Pick your words wisely or fiendishly plot to call Oprah and see if there is a make over show coming up.

True enough, there's nothing devilishly wrong about making polite suggestions to a partner that you think might honestly improve their appearance.

My offense with the tomboy letter was that he wanted his girlfriend to be sexual in public in a way that she obviously was not comfortable with, and it was all for him, not her.

That being said, I put the toilet seat back up when I'm at my boyfriend's house.

That being said, I put the toilet seat back up when I'm at my boyfriend's house.

Lucky boyfriend :-)

The thing is, this girl's clothes were part of her broader identity as a tomboy; it's pretty clear she doesn't like being girly. What the boyfriend was trying to do wasn't the equivalent of a woman getting her schlubby boyfriend into a suit once in a while for formal occasions. (By the way, a woman can look nice at social occasions without wearing a miniskirt. They're called slacks.) It was more like, I dunno, a woman trying to get her boyfriend to adopt black nails and studded leather because she has a thing for goths. Or making her artist boyfriend dress like an investment banker because she's embarrassed that people will think he's a broke loser. Giving your partner clothing tips is one thing, but trying to entirely remake their image for your benefit, that's just kind of jerkish.

In your relationships you are the dominant one?

You wouldn't put on a mini skirt for your guy from time to time. I might wear leather and black finger nails from time to time though loathing it for the greater good. It wouldn't be the end of the world and would probably be a learning experience of both good and bad proportions. Also, I don't remember so far back but I don't recall mini skirt being the operative item just getting out of the jeans and t-shirt rut.

We have a deal with each other: my boyfriend doesn't pressure me to wear miniskirts in public; I don't threaten to dump him unless he gets rid of his stupid mullet and drops fifty pounds. More seriously, we've got better things to worry about than each others' appearances.

By the way, that letter writer was quite obvious about wanting his girlfriend to wear a short skirt, he said several times that he wanted her to show leg and even claimed that he offered to buy her dresses. I'm guessing she said no, otherwise he wouldn't be writing to Prudie.

okay, you win.

nevermind that you can show leg w/o wearing a mini-skirt length skirt.

I don't think the guy's asking for a total makeover.

Doesn't wear skirts every day? Her choice, deal with it.

Wears jeans to a party where everyone else is dressed nice? PROBLEM.

Tomboyishness and skirts are not mutually exclusive. If you doubt this, head on down to your local Roller Derby league, get to know the girls, and hang out at their bar. Tons of skirts, no girliness.

Does no one else do this? If I'm using a man's bathroom and the seat was up when I walked in, I put it back up. If it's shared space, I'm OK with an everyone-look-out-for-yourself approach. (Then again, I grew up sharing a bathroom with guys, so I've never gotten in the habit of assuming the seat will be down.)