dearest prudence,

some comments and commendations:

• frayster tenaciousk offers up a keen interpretation of smelly's letter. too often, harassment is viewed primarily through the eyes of the individual who feels harassed. this is natural, as a central aspect of harassment is the "unwantedness" of attention; however, we oughtn't ignore that unrequited romantic or lustful interest does not, in and of itself, warrant stern response. what distinguishes harassment from simple or even complex desire is a disregard for the feelings or non-feelings of others. important here is the understanding that awareness predicates disregard. tenaciousk's suggestion that smelly express how she feels rather than issue forth command fairly brilliantly underscores this most important quality of harassment.
• your advice regarding crazy may not be excellent, but it is essentially correct. the described behavior is extreme--and in that sense, not normal. those fraysters eager to criticize the husband are failing to realize that the husband has not yet come to terms with how aberrant crazy's behavior is. clearly in denial, he insists "i love my wife and know she is sane." mental illness is a burden not only for the afflicted but also for those who love her or him.
• frayster mizbinkley offers fabulous advice for the young, leaving me with little to add.
• what troubles me about flaky is that, despite attending a college where "overachieving, superbrilliant academic all-stars are a dime a dozen," flaky equates "flakiness" with "stupidity." it similarly troubles me that you equate "flakiness" with "drunkeness." i have always thought that "flaky" meant "unreliable." the urban dictionary agrees. granted, drunkeness can make one unreliable; however, i could not quite make that connective leap. my own shortcoming, i am sure. the point i make here is that, if her friends are properly using the word "flaky" to describe her, then their comments have little to do with her intelligence or her choice of refreshment. if she is in the habit of canceling or skipping out on plans with her friends, then she is indeed a flake. and it would be more than a mote poetic that she feels hurt that her friends chide her for flaking on them as much as she does.

apologies for the bullet points.

yours truly,
nanny

The bullet points are great! I didn't explore this new set up, to realize we had them.

I agree with your points on usage of the word "flakey". I gathered the same thing from Prudie's post. She misinterpreted the word flakey as to mean "drunk" and "party girl" and compared the poster to Lindsay Lohann. This girl could like the stronger nectar of the gods and still be smart, reliable and an acheiver. I would probably be annoyed with these people if I were the LW too.

unreliable, undependable...often late...self-absorbed to the point of distraction...that's my take on flaky.