To concerned husband: How I wish my ex had had the concern to seek advice for me! No, what your wife is experiencing is not normal for a woman during her monthly period. It may, however, be related. There is a diagnosis now for PPMD - premenstrual dysphoric disorder - which is magnitudes more severe than pesky PMS. It involves depression, inability to focus (aggravating frustration levels), and a host of other possible symptoms. My ex and I, normally far from violent people, broke objects and hurt ourselves though we stopped at physically harming each other. A combination of psychological counseling, anti-depressants, and lifestyle changes helped me regain a happy and fulfilling life, and aging into different hormonal patterns has been a relief. Please help her to seek help and do not blame her or call her crazy. If she is like I was, she is frightened enough already.

That was my thought too, I had PPMD.

It would get worse every month, I would get into an intense rage, I could have easily severly hurt or killed someone & feel good about it. & other times, I would burst into tears on a drop of a hat. On top of all that, I had severe craps, cysts & endimetrios (spelled wrong?) & periods that would last for 10 days. There is a tree at work, I would punch as hard as I could over & over so that I wouldn't go off on a co-worker. Bloody knuckles, tree bark stuck in my ring, I was a freakin' loon.

Finally got a hysterectomy a year ago & I feel so good, healthy & happy, no more mood swings or violent thoughts.

Wow! Good post, ladies! I hope Concerned Husband reads this thread.

I would also like to add that hormonal fluctuations brought on by birth control pills can cause similar responses in many women. For the first few months of this year, I went through something very similar to the first person who posted, but it was brought on by my birth control meds. Hopefully concerned husband can convince his wife to get to a doctor and/or psychologist to get this back under control.

Locking herself up in the bathroom and wishing to let "it" go.... what is that 'it'?

Ahem, the letter is freaky and lately I've been trying to convince myself to watch 'The Exocist' alone cz I really want to but just watching the trailor makes me sweat in fear so I havent until now. And I'vee been reading about 'demons' and 'jinns' and 'spirits' and now reading this letter is freaky.

She should definitely get some psychiatry help. This doesnt sound normal.

This is such a good topic. It is amazing how often people are concerned about someone being labeled "crazy" by behavior and how that causes them to react in a less aggressive manner. I seriously doubt that a typically kind and caring women who seems to move into a delusional depressive state can just be chalked up to being "crazy". As many people are mentioning it, can be a serious hormonal imbalance or even some sort of chemical imbalance. I know of several women who suffer from mild forms of clinical depression that become extremely depressed and destructive about the same time their period starts if they are not being treated.

Please don't let a fear of a foolish stigma get in the way of helping your wife find relief. Whether her behavior is hormonal or a chemical issue, there are many doctors out there that can help her achieve a more balanced "phyisiological life" that will ease her depressive states and acting out and maintain the personality that she usually has.

If it turns out that the doctors do not diagnose her with PDMS, ask your doctors to check to see if your wife may have a chemical imbalance that is causing some form of depression or other mood disorder during her menstural cycle. If you need help getting more info on such disorders you can also look at NAMI or SAMHSA's websites. Either way, both types of disorders are treatable and in no way make your wife crazy, insane or less of a person. They are both just medical conditions that are very treatable and livable, much the same way as diabetes is.

Rebecca:

Either way, both types of disorders are treatable and in no way make your wife crazy, insane or less of a person. They are both just medical conditions that are very treatable and livable, much the same way as diabetes is.

I agree with you and that really is an excellent point. Can I take a little exception with your wording though? Several people now have gone out of their way to stress that this could very well be a medical condition, not a mental one. You stress that the wife wouldn't be 'crazy, insane or less of a person'.

I'd like to go out a little further here and say hey, it may very well be a mental condition. The woman might even be, in common terms, crazy or insane. So what? As you said, that doesn't make her less of a person. It makes her a person with a different kind of illness, one that has been until recently kept as a dark dirty secret. It may very well be a treatable illness with physical roots. It may be a treatable illness without obvious physical roots. Either way, she really isn't any less of a person because of it. She isn't a bad person because of it.

Can we (generic we) please just look at the possibility of mental illness and stop flinching away from it? For people to really get the treatment they need, we have to acknowledge that it is ok to be mentally ill.

I certainly agree with what you are saying and just want to clarify what I meant by my wording. Very often when people hear the term crazy or insane they start thinking Jack Nicholson in the Shining or the stories of Sybil so I tend to shy away from that image. I come from a family that has members that have bipolar disorder I and II, schizophrenia and clinical depression. While some of the side affects of these disorders can be disturbing to someone observing the person while in a mania, depressive or a hallugentic state, it is still the disorder that is making it happen not the person. People with these disorders are no more "insane" or "crazy" than a "normal" person. They may need a little more understanding and a time in more intensive treatment that can include a hospital stay - but I would argue that that is the same for any disorder such as heart disease, diabetes, cancer, ect. I hope that by my pervious wording it did not give the impression that I believe anyone with a mental disorder is in any way less than anyone who has no mental disorder. My apologizes if that is what I seemed to imply :)

No, I understood that you didn't view them as less. It was just a common theme I've seen through some of these threads and picked yours to reply to, since it was so well written.

"Crazy" as a description is so biased at this point that I don't think we can ever retrieve it. However, it would be nice if people could use the word "insane" and mean the person in the mental ward getting treatment, not Jack Nicholson. Take some of the shame away from being insane, sort of like the word "bitch" is getting a revival.