The woman wants four kids. She's 30, not married, and she wants four kids.

Four kids.

FOUR of them.

She doesn't want a husband, she wants someone to stud her. Some gals are like this: walking wombs. Gotta have me babies. Gotta have as many babies as I can. Gotta prove my worth by poppin' 'em out ASAP.

Well, apart from that:

Wanting to have kids (1 or 4 or 12) is NOT a reason to get married.

Suggestion: Adopt.

Then you and your FOUR kids can hang out with your friends (who, you say, are like family--wait until you have FOUR kids and see how eager these friends are to spend time with you) without the encumbrance of a husband.

He'll probably run for his life when he hears she wants 4 kids.

She want a man to STUD her and FUND her.

How is she ever going to hang out with her friends if she marries someone who's outgoing? The outgoing hubby will not want to miss any parties or nights out on the town.

If she marries Mr. Unsociable, she'll have a built in baby sitter for her four kids, while she parties.

A woman who still dreams about "fairy tale love" and wants to have 4 kids at the chronological age of 30 probably never grew beyond the intellectual age of 16. That letter is the equivalent of still having a poster of [INSERT TEEN HEARTTHROB NAME HERE] on her bedroom wall.

Someone with that psychological profile trying to raise 4 kids better get ready for a steep learning curve.

LOL!

I have a cousin who, with her husband, thought that seven was a nice round number. After four pregnancies in six years, that was the end of it. One of the pregnancies was a surprise, because she actually believed that nursing was birth control! I can't believe anyone still believes that old wives tale.

As one poster has already said, most people that say they want big families change their mind in a hurry after coping with one baby, let alone a crowd.

I think women like this are aliens from another planet. I am also 30 yrs old. Whenever I see some poor mother with a pack of screaming kids, I shudder in horror. I couldn't deal with ONE kid, let along FOUR.

Four kids is really that shocking?? I'm shocked that this many people think so.

I have a few family members with that many (planned) children and no, they are not emotionally stunted.

No, four kids (or any number kids) isn't the problem here. The problem is having kids, and (let's be frank), more kids than the usual number most people have these days (although so what?), seems to be her prinicipal interest in getting married.

Maybe her problems will be over when she tells Mr. Fabulous that he's expected to perform and provide on a regular basis.

Austin Annie:

Four kids is really that shocking?? I'm shocked that this many people think so.

I agree -- four children is more than average, but it hardly makes you the Duggar family.

That said, I think the letter-writer's "movie love" fantasy sounds immature. Even if it starts out like in the movies, it's not going to stay that way once she and her husband, whoever he turns out to be, are dealing with the day-to-day tasks of raising four kids. Real relationships take work, and even true love evolves and changes over time.

she needs to see how she deals with one & then decide how many more she wants.

Elle--chances are someone as disagreeable as mister Unsociable will also bitch about being "abandoned with the children."

Personal experience!

Wow, you all sound so jaded!

I agree that having kids is no reason to get married - not by any means. But not wanting to have kids is not more noble than wanting kids. One person's screaming brats is another person's pack of jewels.

It's pretty obvious that this guy is not the one for her because she stated in the first part of the letter that she doesn't have the feeling she had at first and she's only a couple months in. Puh-leeeez, get over the guy and move on. Either that or she is very self UN-aware, and that at 30. If you're not sure then you're not sure and that doesn't mean yes, especially when the bio clock is ticking.

But I do sympathize with her because some women (myself included) DO want the experience of having children, I have children, both biologicially and adopted and love them, and TO ME, both experiences had separate gratification. For a woman, there IS a time-frame unfortunately, where there isn't (most often) for men. Maybe it's not the be-all to end-all, but it's one of those things that some people want.

She sounds like a disaster, she either needs to change friends or say g'bye to the guy, and since she's spent alot more time with her social circle, that is not about to happen.

Anyway, for what it's worth...

First thought I had was she doesn't want a husband she just wants a stud, with a disney princess fantasy yet. She needs to grow up and let this poor guy go so he can find someone much more deserving and appreciative then she is. Someone who REALLY loves him and not just his sperm. And yes 4 kids is too many for this day and age, the poor earth doesn't have the resources to support what we have now, having 4 kids is just selfish.

I think that we should let the human race die off then the earth and all its resourses can continue to float around in space and perhaps the misquitos can continue to evolve into sentiant beings that will suck the blood from every other creature on earth until the sun burns out and the solar system dies.

I agree with you squab, the first part anyway.

But it's not up to us to decide if 4 kids is too many. If someone tells me they don't want kids, then very cool, whatever works for you. You want 12? Cool, whatever works for you.

You're being a bit ethnocentric anyway, because this trend of having less kids is only prevalent in America and parts of Europe. If you believe what you say about decreasing the birth rate, we need to deal with the 2/3 of the world that still believes in large families.