"tom boy".

Look the two of them get along great! . Just face it, she's a transsexual women! But that's okay. Just get over your transphobia and date her and try to deepen the relationship.
Pruddy really jumps the gun and is always telling people to break up or move on. There is never anything about working through issues or even just changing yourself if you don't like a particular thing about someone.

There must be organizations for straight guys who date transwomen! Check out the local gay center or something!

This post is wrong on so many levels I couldn't imagine where to start. Plenty of heterosexuals enjoy things which are not "expected" for them to enjoy by society. There are heterosexual male hairdressers and heterosexual female engineers, just as they are gay sports enthusiasts and lesbian nurses. But I suppose if it doesn't fit your mold, it can't be.

I was just noticing today how many pink vacuum cleaners you can get for a one-year old, and how few toys which actually require thought or imagination.

Hell, that girl could easily be like nearly all the women I know -- ranging from teenagers to early 60s anyway. Even it the office where I work, most wear blue jeans and casual shoes. And most of the guys I know are just fine with that.

Firstoff, if we are talking about a woman whose gender identity is male, the term is "transman"- "transgirl" indicates a man whose gender identity is female.

Lastly, just because this woman is a tomboy, doesn't mean she's gender dysphoric. Plenty of my female friends are more comfortable in jeans, tee shirts, etc., and are pretty damned proud to be women (oh, and they are bi or heterosexual, before someone says they are lesbians).

Incog Neato: I think you're confusing transgender with gay. Nowhere did the OP say that this woman is a lesbian, only that they think she is transgendered. Gender != sexual preference.

As for the LW, he needs to get over it. If he's got such a fetish for femme clothes, he'd best find another woman to be his girlfriend. Forcing one's own sexual ideals on someone, especially someone you supposedly are attracted do, can never end well.

Red Dobe

I agree that Prudie's advice was wrong but not for the same reason as you. I don't think that this girl is transgendered. Lots of women wear jeans, t-shirts and tennis shoes. It doesn't mean much. Lots of women enjoy video games, cartoons, and sports - that doesn't mean much either.

The part of this letter that I felt she missed her mark on was when she said it was ever acceptable to try to force a person to change. Yes I suppose if you've been together for a long time, pointing out that she would fit in to a group better in ______ MIGHT not get you dumped but it's plain and simple that people have a right to be who they are. Just because he wants to see her legs in public isn't a good enough reason for her to wear a dress if she is uncomfortable in dresses.

Had I been responding to this letter, I would have told him to leave - because his girlfriend deserves someone better than him. She deserves someone who appreciates her for who she is rather than being stuck with someone who wants to change everything about her.

Yeah, for Pete's sake - generally speaking, boy clothes are SO much more comfortable than boy clothes.

I'm assuming this guy was attracted to her when they first met, and she was (again, I assume) in boy clothes.... so what, did he think then that she was pretty close to what he wanted and he could change her? Um, don't men hate it when WOMEN have that attitude? ;)

No, I understand the difference. I just don't think the top poster does. There are plenty of people who feel a person in a job traditionally "reserved" for the other gender is transgendered, homosexual, or both. That was the point I was making.

Anyway, this person's own biases are too blatant to warrant serious discussion.

She was WAY off-base there. You can either accept someone as they are, or not. Not fair to ask them to change for you. Of course, if it's something that's emptionally or physically damaging to either of you, that's a whole different ball of wax. But clothing choice? BFD.

Does this remind anyone else of the letter a while back from the man who was dating a woman in her 50's and was complaining because he felt her tops were too low-cut?

as she is wont to do. With her tongue way in cheek. :)