A Business Lunch With Aristotle

If I were an excellent friend
I would stare at your face without blinking
I'd watch the shades fall from your eyes
And softly listen to thoughts unsaid

I'm boisterous though and rude
I interrupt. Somersaulting worlds
Roll into our soup. Telling and asking
Are part of the same breath.

You are a friend of utility
Lunching with a friend of pleasure
I determine you should laugh
Like a project completed, you deliver.

I cannot satisfy you like the soup
I cannot be piquant or velvet
I eat chicken with my fingers and notice
You do this as if forks were uninvented.

"A great soup," I say, and you smile
You chose it, you conceived the moment
Hacked it out of routine and shaped it
Into hard rock for grabbing in harder times.

Hi, Cool poem. There is no reason for me to suspect that you are not an excellent friend to you know who, except that your very own definition of yourself will not allow you ‘to be ‘ . Apparently. With that in mind , and for brevity’s sake, you might consider replacing the word ‘excellent’ in the first line and putting in it’s place the word ‘better‘. The line will have one less syllable and the sound of the word I think, is more in tune with many other words that come later in your lines… and also importantly--……….with the word excellent gone, people will no longer be thinking ‘why? not excellent .... ‘as you read the other lines , you know what I mean… for the word excellent kind of allows doubt to creep in ! …maybe just cause it sounds awkward, I don’t know..…for it may be difficult to be an excellent friend , but everyone or many people can be a better one no ? ………..

better , blinking , boisterous, breath and not to mention , business………”if I were a better friend “ sounds like a timeless declaration……..just a thought ……be well

Thanks for the useful critique. Actually, I wrote the poem after reading Aristotle's typology of friendship in his Ethics. He discusses"Friends of Excellence" -- who contemplate each other's virtue and try to base their selfless friendship on what will enhance that virtue. He also talks of Friendships of Pleasure in which taking pleasure and coincidentally giving pleasure is paramount. The third form of friendship if "Friendship of Utility" --used to describe "networking" friendship and office friendships that make work easier to accomplish.

If i did as you say, the poem would read better but lost its patterning after Aristotle. I'd have to take Aristotle out of the title and out of the central meaning, but maybe that's okay. I'll have to think about it. Thanks.

Hi, thanks for entertaining me. How about this for your title , it might speak to all of your concerns…….

‘Aristotle, my Friend of Excellence‘ , and / or you could put the word ‘With’ in front of Aristotle perhaps, if you thought it necessary……..

Just thinking aloud’ …….

By the way , it’s a great idea for a poem. Wish it were mine ! Lol……………….god luck

An interesting hypothetical conceit here, Elisabeth. I like this poem, it's bouncy & contemporary & rather sassy as it tries to combine the intellectual "Ideal" with a somewhat quotidian reality, having lunch with a friend. And it succeeds in doing so, in my estimation. I find the last two stanzas the strongest & most appealing and especially like,

"I cannot satisfy you like the soup
I cannot be piquant or velvet."

I get a little confused at the end there as you move from a velvety liquid soup into a hard rock shaped out of routine for grabbing in harder times. So, may I ask, is the "it" there in "You chose it," the soup or the friendship? Or am I being too literal here?

Also, not sure you need to repeat "hard" and "harder" within the same line -- I would try to go with another short, tough-sending one syllable synonym for "hard" myself.

Thanks for posting this; it's a fine poem and it's good to see you back on the Poems Fray.

into our soup." That line really grabbed my attention. Nice work, Elisabeth.

I appreciate the feedback Lunesta. You and J.l. Stix have given me really helpful commentary. I may work on this and come back with a new version at some point. I'm just beginning to move into free verse after years of rhymed songwriting.