I think there are several important points that have been raised in other threads. I would add another more explicitly: the vast power of judges in family court. Now, judges in general have great power, but the family court judge is usually free to do things that would bring down appeals court thunder on other judges. Indeed, they seem similar (and in these parts often double as) juvenile judges. The theory is that "the kids need protecting", but it is ironic that we try and do that by eliminating most procedural safeguards and allowing the judge to act as a virtual dictator. At the same time, Family Law judges are among the least appreciated and rewarded (along with juvenile judges). They get large caseloads of the worst litigants and are relying on horrible bureaucracies (like "child services") for key assistance. It is not uncommon for the judge to have to face a whole cadre of lawyers and bureaucrats. One case I saw recently -- Lawyer for Dad, Lawyer for Mom, Lawyer for Mom #2, Child Service's Lawyer, Child Services case manager, Attorney ad litem for the child, probation officer (for child), County Attorney --- getting them all at one meeting was like convening the UN. And like the UN not much got done ( Child Services had not completed a "family study". Case worker tells angry judge "we'll check on that." Judge resets for next month).
I agree that court is not supposed to be "Talk Therapy." Indeed, as most attorneys will gladly attest, the less the litigants (i.e. parents) talk the better. Most clients think that they can somehow magically change the law and win over the judge if only they could get a chance to give a heart-rending speech. Their lawyers warn them, but I still see person after person talking themselves into a whole. At best they tend to go on about irrelevant issues and test the judge's patience. At worst, they simply demonstrate the lack of maturity/balance that has got them in court to start with.
Many of these folks need therapy and counseling -- which the courts are not designed to provide. Indeed, it is ironic that typically even when therapy/counseling is ordered by the judge, compliance is usually lacking.
The problem is usually not so much the judges - or for that matter other individuals -- but "they system." Without comprehensive reforms to the law, or our system of administering it, there is unlikely to be great progress. I won't hold my breath. For the forseeable future, if you want a shoulder to cry on don't count on one wearing a robe.
