Death has always been, to put it mildly, a problem. But only with the rise of the funeral home has it become a financial problem too. The death of the home-parlor-based funeral led to the rise of funeral-parlor funeral, and there is some evidence that the death of the former was helped along by the latter.

But absurd fees, to say nothing of pressure put on the living by funeral industry workers, have driven the cost of a funeral up into and in some cases well past new-Toyota territory. And for those willing to forego the expense of the modern funeral, it's possible to get rid of the no-longer-living for well under $1000.

If the industry as a whole had followed a GM-style system, then people of modest means would have been able, right along, to afford a funeral for their dead relatives without having to dip into retirement funds, home downpayments and tuition savings. And at the same time, they could have sold titanium caskets fitted with silver and gold to the well-off-- without making Joe (and Jose) average feel as though they were being cheap if they didn't spring for the high end caskets and all the bells and whistles. Does GM do this? No, they sell people lower down on the pecking order Chevys-- and they roll out the Caddys for their more comfortable clients. Disney does the same thing.

Now the funeral industry has the reputation it deserves, and it's suffering, just a little, for that. They lost our business years ago-- my wife and I have plots paid for in a nearby cemetary, and when the time comes, later we hope than sooner, our kids will have to get the coffins I build out of the basement, pop us in, and invite the neighbors over for some food and drink, while we wait in the living room until the boyos are ready to drive us in the back of a station wagon to the small town cemetary and say goodbye. The local funeral homes-- which aren't local any more anyway, just part of some national chain-- won't have bupkis from us.