Neither J. A. Spring nor Prudence consider the likelihood that a fling might be a good thing for a healthy divorce. Perhaps the couple with the 20 year itch are getting bored with each other and with being "pillars of the community," but are too attached to each other, their families, and their memories to do any of the things that lead to the liberation of a good divorce. Agreeing to allow each other to have flings might give them a chance to recharge their emotional lives enough to cut the marriage cord.

I have some experience with this. My first wife and I had long separations as a result of grad school and agreed to allow each other to have little affairs. One thing I failed to do was listen to my instincts when I realized that I liked another woman more than my spouse. The string really was running out on my first marriage and we got divorced three years later anyway. Perhaps if I had listened more closely to my feelings, I could have saved myself about five years of pre- and post-divorce suffering.

Anyway, reflecting on it all, I came to the conclusion that having affairs can be a healthy thing when it's time to move on.