Once you are there, you will still find it difficult to learn German, but mostly because everyone there wants to practice their very good English on you. And now is an especially propitious time to live there. The German economy is booming once again, and looks far stronger than the US economy for the near and medium term.

Moreover, Berlin has become a major capital again, so flights home to visit family and friends won't kill your budget. Berlin is a great, great city.

Europeans do a much better job of providing institutional support to new parents. It really is a much friendlier place to start a family. And a little bilingual education never hurt anyone.

The one big concern is your career. I don't know what you do, but your native English language skills are by themselves worth a lot over there. Think it over.

I had a great time there. I stayed at a really nice hotel, that I will stay at again the next time I'm there. There was a lot of stuff to do and the shopping was great.

Outrager:

Once you are there, you will still find it difficult to learn German, but mostly because everyone there wants to practice their very good English on you.

You got that right. I was trying to practice my German and the folks there were so eager to practice English on me. My friend said, "wait till we get to the countryside". Not! The folks in Titisee probably knew as much English as the Berliners and I still didn't get much practice!

You both missed the point...this girl does not want to stretch her horizons at all, she doesn't want to learn German (she's been married to a German for 5 years, is faced with the prospect of moving there, and has been "taking it on and off???"), does not want to make new foreign friends, does not want to think about doing anything different. etc. She wants to live near HER friends and HER family and work at HER job and speak ENGLISH. I feel sorry for the guy...it should have been obvious before you got married that this woman was not going to want to move. If you do move, you'll both be miserable, she'll be unhappy when you talk to friends in German (which I doubt she'll learn) or go out with them and not her, & she'll pout/complain all the time. Is she being selfish? Yes, or maybe that's just who she is and she didn't have the guts to make this clear earlier. But I guess the guy has a decision to make: make peace with living in the US or get out of this marriage before they have kids. Seems like plenty of women on this post however would love to go with him, though! : )

Her letter might as well have been like this:

Dear Prudie,

I met a guy, who looks like Brad Pitt, who actually asked me to marry him!!! And, well, I'm not exactly an Angelina Jolie, more like a Rosie O'Donelle. Anyway, I lied so I could keep him interested. I actually said I'd move to Germany! Now, it's almost time to go, and he's actually pressuring me to make the move! As if he really expected me to move clear across the Alantic from my family and friends? How naiive can he possibly get? Anyway, I'm a true New Yorker at heart, and he hates it here! I'm afraid he'll leave me if I don't go! How do I keep him and get to stay in New York? Help!!!

...and Angelina and family. They bought a huge appartment in Berlin, and one christmas bought out an entire toy store. a small one.....LOL

intersurfa:

...and Angelina and family. They bought a huge appartment in Berlin, and one christmas bought out an entire toy store. a small one.....LOL

That is funny! I didn't know that! I love to watch movies, but I am so bad on keeping updated with celebrity news. They bought out an entire toy store? All the last minute shoppers in Berlin, must have been pissed to rush to the store and find it empty! lol!

...their apartment is in Mitte, which used to be in the Eastern district. The toy store was a small boutique specializing in leadfree, chewable toys for tots. As you know, the German toy industry has been proactive in that for decades, and there are many small toy manufacturers in the country with products that can't be found anywhere else. They even have a Family Minister and are very active in Unicef (the German presidents wife is a functionary with UNICEF). No doubt Angelina's interests in world wide child advocacy finds interesting contacts there. Mitte also has a lot of different kind of boutiques in side streets. Elegant, small, successfull, but modest. They pull up on bicycles there, not in Rolls Royces.

I've never been to Mitte. That will be on my list of places to see next time I go to Germany (which will either be this summer or next year).

Now the folks at Mitte must have been really peeved that the local lead free toy store was sold out and they'd probably have to travel to find another store specializing in lead free toys. The weather in Berlin at Christmas can be frightful!

...but i've been reading the local newspaper online every day for a while now, just to keep up the language, and the weather has been identical to northeast coast weather, every frigging day. it's eeire. if it rains there, it rains here. sunshine there, sunshine here. they went through a big weather change at the wende. now the east is not belching out the brown coal smoke anymore and it makes a huge difference. from what i've read and seen, berlin weather is identical to nyc weather. day in day out.

nah, i dont think the locals noticed, as the store must have got restocked in a couple of days. it's not like KADEWE sold out. Now, that would be a problem.

Mitte is where the government center is, Humboldt U., the Museum Island, etc. When U. assemblies let out there, I think I'm in Amsterdam, confronted by a tidal wave of bicylist riding down the middle of the boulevard. the cars follow THEM, not the other way around.

Identical to NYC weather? I live near NYC in NJ. How long did you live in Germany? I have to brush up on my German, so when I visit, I can get even better (although the locals like to practice their English on me).

Ah!!! I absolutely agree!!!

I am from Naples, Italy...I have lived in San Francisco, Califronia for about 5 years myself. If I asked my one-and-only to move to Italy RIGHT NOW...he would say SI. Because...

1. He has made an effort to learn my language and vice versa.

2. Who cares where you live as long as you are together.

3. I MOVED HERE FOR HIM!!!

What kind of narrow minded ignoramous does not want to move to another place, much less the home of your significant other/spouse? New mother? So what!? Two people can not handle an infant? Wow...amazing. She said his career was "portable" and her's no...ok, then she will have lots of time to spend at home with her new baby. I have NO family here at all so, we go to Italy once a year (twice if we can afford it!). I would bet she's never even been to Germany for a vacation with her husband. If she has, she's probably like some of the women I have met in Napoli (married to American Sailors) who say..."Umm, this place sucks. There's no 7-11 and nobody speaks english."

Go and enjoy it. Lots of people would love to go and live in Europe...I feel sorry for your husband.

partenopea:

If she has, she's probably like some of the women I have met in Napoli (married to American Sailors) who say..."Umm, this place sucks. There's no 7-11 and nobody speaks english."

What a coincidence, that's exactly what *I* said when I went from Taiwan to California! ;)

My partner recently had to move back because he can unable to cope with life overseas. He though that he would love it, and then he didn't. It would have been impossible for him to get a job in his desired field, and he was having a tough time with the jobs that he did get, because they did not utilize his best skill sets.

Leaving a career behind to follow a spouse can be very difficult, and it's not always possible to pick up where you left off in a new country. Some trailing spouses cope by doing a lot of volunteer work; some cope by getting a less prestigious job in the field; some are able to use the time to develop new business ideas. Regardless, the relationship should already be very strong and a couple should discuss the issues that are involved before finally deciding to make the move.

There can be a lot of resentment, and a new baby can compound that as a parent is face with many new responsibilities without the previous support network. Both situations can also cause serious identity issues.

I hope that the LW will be able to get over her fears and make the leap to living in Berlin. It could be a very rewarding experience. Nevertheless, I think that she should take her doubts seriously and address them so that she is more fully prepared to cope with the new challenges living overseas.

"The German economy is booming once again, and looks far stronger than the US economy for the near and medium term. Moreover, Berlin has become a major capital again, so flights home to visit family and friends won't kill your budget. Berlin is a great, great city."

I am no economist, but wouldn't the weak US dollar work to your DISADVANTAGE if you choose to move to Germany, unless you plan on earn money there and going back to the US.