So, the letter writer gets her deal (5 years in the States), but the husband, who's held up his end of the bargain, gets the shaft? She has plenty of excuses (he's not social, his job makes a move easy, Germany's a strange/scary place, we won't know anyone, we're starting a family and I don't want to be away from my support system), but nothing, not a single thing, about why it would be a good thing (husband would be happy, parents can visit, I might actually get exposed to a different culture and learn something, it's only for five years and then we can re-look our situation).
It seems to me the husband's request in the beginning was so that both partners would be exposed to a different life, outside of their comfort zone. She hasn't even bothered to learn German, for f*&^'s sake.
I wish it'd been the husband that wrote. Hopefully Prudie would've advised him to run away (don't walk) prior to starting a family with this woman who respects him and his wishes so much less than he respects hers.
Prudie was wrong here. A marriage is 50/50 and the husband made a huge sacrifice. Shame on Prudie for suggesting the letter writer shouldn't have to do the same.
P.S. I lived several years abroad and always return wishing I could've spent more time. Five years would fly by if the letter writer would actually embrace the culture and the experience. And she might find that she learns something about herself in the process.
