I live in a 'hood where most of the "adults" Trick-or-Treating with infants are little more than children themselves. Give them some candy, for heaven's sake. They've got to go back to a crappy studio apartment with that exhausted screaming baby and figure out how to pay the bills on November 1st. Some sugar might make them feel better. It's not killing you to give them some Junior Mints.

And I have to agree with Prudie about essentially buying off the teens and tweens so as not to complicate your landscaping with TeePee. They are still children also, somewhere on the cusp of running around getting free candy, or standing on the corner selling drugs. Have a Hershey Bar, kid. Keep off the meth and coke for another year.

This is, really, so obvious, yet so right on, I just had to comment. The advice Prudie and the person above gave is just so common-sensical, I'm surprised it has to be said. Honestly, at first, I could see myself agreeing with the letter writer; it's somewhat annoying to be beset upon with people other than "real kids." But if adult kids and teen-age kids still feel like this is the one night a year they can be kids (and maybe they weren't able to be when they were kids, age-wise), take a chill pill, and go with it. You bought the candy--better to give it away than to eat it all yourself, right? Just go and have a fun night, and observe all the folks who need this night to go and have what they consider fun.

I intend to take my infant out on Halloween myself, actually.

Sure my motivations are selfish, I want to show off my impossibly cute wee one wearing the impossibly cute princess outfit I'm making. Also I'd like to meet the neighbors, since we just moved here. Seems like a good opportunity, it's the one night of the year I can arbitrarily show up on someone's doorstep and say hi without them thinking I'm too terribly weird. I hope.

I don't want the candy, though, baby won't eat it and I shouldn't. ;) Perhaps the letter writer is shoving candy at the parents so fast they don't have time to recite the "isn't my baby cute, no we don't need candy" spiel.

Here's how I handle the sullen, six feet tall teenagers holding a plastic grocery bag at my door on Halloween. I give the "good" candy (mini Snickers or Mars bars) to the cute little kids and then something cheap like store brand jelly beans to the older kids. This is also a good way to get rid of last years cough drops, toss them into the bag with a few candies and they won't see just who gave them. But I do smile and remark, "My, aren't you a little big to be trick or treating?" I was 5' 6" tall when I was 11 years old and trickor treating and people at the door said this to me and that put an end to my begging.

Morticia

The Amrican Psychological Association just released the results of the "Stress in America" survy. Many people (about half), think they are more stressed now than 5 years ago and about a third say that they are under extreme stress because of finiancial problems, job/work demands etc)- and this smuck is worried about trick or treating fouls????!!!

My advice, get a hobby-way, way too much time on her hands!

I'm happy to give teenagers wearing their everyday clothes (usully plus a layer of shaving cream and silly string) candy, as long as they play along when I ask them what they're dressed as. I usually get some funny answers.

BRAVO to fel and Nancy... It's candy for God's sake - she's not giving away gold.

We also live in a neighborhood, by choice, that is diverse in both culture and income. The writer sounds so cynical, isn't there some issue more worthy of your diatribes than "hoodlum" teenagers and cute babies coming to your door? As a mom, a grandma and someone who works with at-risk teens, I LOVE people coming to my door for candy and I actually offer candy to adults who bring their little ones around. My husband and I dress up and have a great time with everyone. Good for you Mom and Dad!!! Keep being involved in these fun activities with your kids and making sure they're safe and happy. Some of us like to gush over their cute costumes and meet the moms and dads who bring them out.

Maybe somewhere beyond the cynicism, she might get to know some people she otherwise wouldn't have met. Maybe she'll be an example to someone. And maybe not, but then who cares? Let go a little and find that kid in yourself again!

As for the teens, I'm appalled that anyone would have a problem giving out candy just because they're older and not in costume. And your first worry is that you're going to clean egg or t.p. off your house? They're not the enemy, they're adolescents. They're teenagers, and with years working with some of the most misguided of them, I haven't yet found one who isn't longing for some approval, kindness and a good example.

I make special treat bags for the teenagers, or give them 2... so far, I've never seen it not make their day. And guess what? We've made some friendships with some of the teens because they know we like them.

I'm getting too wordy and I apologize, but I believe this whole issue is far bigger than Halloween, it's our present society, our privacy fences, our lack of community, and, when did they stop building front porches?

Have we really become that cynical? I hope not. I hope this isn't what we're handing down to our kids.

Bring your babies and their parents and send your teenagers to my house anytime.

Give the 6-foot teenagers religious tracts. The word will spread, and they'll bypass you.

I don't think taller than average (90% percentile and above) pre-adolescents should be penalized on Halloween. My 11 year-old is still very much a little girl mentally and is looking forward to trick-or-treating w/ her younger sibs. The costume is the hard part since most of things in the stores look like something from Fredricks of Hollywood.

I was a taller than normal kid and I still remember the put-downs and double-takes of strangers when my age was revealed. I sense many other taller women of a certain age (40ish) not only remember it, but internalized it too, because of all the bad posture I see among those who are 5' 9"+. They have the rest of their lives to be grown- be kind to the (well-behaved) 11 & 12 year olds.

I do have a problem w/ the rude and sullen and/or profanity-laced speech of the teenage crowd on Halloween night. I also hate the folks who drive around the 'burb too. I've seen folks pull the car all the way up to the door. Very Rude. However, we have a small set of creative folks in the neighborhood who give out "tricks." I've seen grown folks (including the sullen teens) fall down running away from the scarier tricksters. Makes the trick or treating all the sweeter.

Morticia:

Here's how I handle the sullen, six feet tall teenagers holding a plastic grocery bag at my door on Halloween. I give the "good" candy (mini Snickers or Mars bars) to the cute little kids and then something cheap like store brand jelly beans to the older kids. This is also a good way to get rid of last years cough drops, toss them into the bag with a few candies and they won't see just who gave them. But I do smile and remark, "My, aren't you a little big to be trick or treating?" I was 5' 6" tall when I was 11 years old and trickor treating and people at the door said this to me and that put an end to my begging.

Morticia

I'm not crazy about the teenagers with facial hair turning up at the door either, but size alone doesn't necessarily mean a kid is too old to trick-or-treat. My daughter is very tall for her age -- at almost 9, she's the same height as most kids 3 or 4 years older -- and I'd be mortified if someone tried to shame her out of trick-or-treating because of it!

Okay. Give all of the teenagers, regardless of height, religious tracts.

but size alone doesn't necessarily mean a kid is too old to trick-or-treat.

Okay. Give all of the teenagers, regardless of height, religious tracts.

My daughter, 12, is 4'7" and totally flat-chested. She'll be going out with her best friend who is at least a foot taller (and who has been taller than me since she was 9). I guess she's going to get comments, but they're both 12 years old.

It is very hard to tell the age of most of my kids' friends. The 12 year olds in my daughter's class come in all different shapes and sizes. Some of them do, indeed, look like college students. Shouldn't we want them to hold onto their childhood for as long as possible instead of going out and having babies of their own (which they will then bring to the letter-writer's house to annoy her)?

At a certain age -- and I'd say 12 is about it, imo -- kids have to stop trick/treating and move onto other ways of celebrating Halloween. The school, or community center (or whatever) can provide costume-parties (no booze, natch). This way young people (teens, pre-teens) can have fun in a way that's age appropriate without infringing upon the trick/treat tradition that's for little ones.

Michiganian:

Wow, is that written in the Trick-or-Treat laws?

Sorry, I'm not usually that sarcastic. You just make it sound so black and white. Not that an activity wouldn't be a great option, but it's just one option.

I say, let them be kids as long as they want. Going trick-or-treating isn't just about the candy for them, it's one of the tangible ways that these kids in transition in a crazy world can hang on to what's left of childhood and probably the memories of tradition when there isn't alot of tradition left.

There's too many grumpy people yelling "get off my lawn!"

We sure seem to be getting all bunched up over this... isn't there some war or human rights issue going on somewhere that we could divert our atttention to?

Sorry again.