Universal Soldier stands bumpy head and sculpted shoulders above the rest of the Van Damme oeuvre, as it made the best possible use of his limited acting skills: he starts as a reanimated corpse, and eventually develops into a confused young Cajun - which neatly explains the intractable French accent too.

Hard Target's a close second: Van Damme's total lack of affect perfectly fits his role as a homeless, emotionally remote Vietnam vet, and John Woo's creative ultraviolence makes acting ability totally irrelevant.

And then there's Timecop: the technical details don't make a lick of sense, but with two Van Dammes - who for once are not identical twins separated at birth - who cares?

Cyborg, on the other hand, deserves a special award for sheer awfulness. Aside from one don't-blink-or-you'll-miss-it
scene, there's no way to tell that the cyborg isn't human - especially since the cyborg shows more emotional depth than Van Damme.

Sudden Death is on my Top 10 Comedies list.

The Best Van Damme ever are his interviews. He utters such pearls as the cookie quote above or the red eye rabbits saying in the movie excerpt. It's a mix of undigested American slogans, pseudo kung-fu wisdom from David Karadine's movies and initial genetic stupidity delivered in a peculiar Belgian french mixed with english words topped with an american accent gloss coat. Needless to say he's become a cult moron in french speaking countries and multiple websites collect piously his most precious pearls

Best article EVER, and I mean that. When I was a kid in Ireland I wanted to join the Foreign Legion because of JCVD, must have watched all his movies a dozen times, remember in Bloodsport the arena near the end burst into a slow clap for JCVD....they clapped and chanted " nut sue cow", never forget that, sorry about the spelling there.

When I moved to NY I expected to find underground garage fights, never did though.

Fun article, thanks.

I've always been of the opinion that the best Van Damme is Double Impact. It's by far his best acting performance -- he does a relatively credible job (for VD) of playing dual roles, amongst tons of arbitrary carnage and unhinged-in-a-good-way supporting acting. Plus, VD actually calls his sissier alter-ego a "faggot" like three times. And that's pretty meta.

"You of all people should know I would never in my life wear black silk underwear!"