I very much disagree with Prudie's answer to the woman writing in asking how she should go about getting her daughter to pick up a few household chores. The woman listed only 3 chores she wanted her daughter to do - all of them are not especially time consuming, nor do any of them need to be done every single day. I am finishing up college, and remember very well what my later years of high school were like. Like this woman's daughter, I went to school, and worked a part time job - at one point I even worked two jobs. I also participated in sports and the drama club, stayed very active in my church's youth group, was an honor roll student, and the treasurer for my local chapter of NVTHS (National Vocational Technical Honor Society). Even with that much of a workload, I still was expected to do my share of chores - daily vacuuming, weekly dusting, dishes. Yet somehow, I still managed to find plenty of time to spend with my friends. It is not unfair of a parent, if their children live under their roof, to expect them to participate in doing the housework. I also have a message for the daughter and the mom - graduating high school and going to college is not exactly going into the "real world", so there's no hurry to get all the fun time in. Do what my parents did - state that if the kids do not want to do household chores, then they are more than welcome to find a place where they are not required. The daughter would realize very quickly how little time some chores take out of her social life.

Completely agree - I feel that Prudie is way off base here and that her recommendations if followed would only perpetuate the notion this daughter seems to have that having some free time and meeting your responsibilities are mutually exclusive. It's up to parents to teach children balance in all things, and I agree with the mother who says the family is living real life now. Therapy should have taught them that there is no point in protecting children from their responsibilities or their reality; home is where you learn to deal with reality, and part of that is contributing to the family well-being. The daughter is in high school and cannot and should not contribute financially, but she can absolutely do a few chores around the house. All children should be expected to. Nobody is talking about locking her up and making her Cinderella while mom parties. I find the daughter's attitude tremendously self-absorbed and completely support the mother's position that she is right to expect a little help. The father should also support this. And I wouldn't lose a wink of sleep over whether expecting a little help would harm those 'connections' between parent and child. Those are all but lost anyway if the parent follows Prudie's advice and lets the child run the household. Weekly family spaghetti night where nobody talks about chores? Wow.

Yes, I agree Prudie's advice was way-hey off base.

Of course the teenager should do some chores, fro crying out loud. It's character building, among other things.

Of course she doesn't want too. But her mother is ill, she should be doing MORE chores than before she stopped doing them altogether.

Teenagers who refuse to obey house rules should be grounded and/or kicked out (!)

My sisters and I did chores all through our childhood, but I still had to adjust to shouldering a fair share of a household's chores when rooming with others during university. Sometimes you just don't get it.