Prudie is WRONG WRONG WRONG on this one! It sounds as if this woman spoiled her child beforehand and now is stuck with an ingrate who can't be bothered to help a bit around the house. There was a time when kids would have to help run the farm, keep the house clean, AND do their homework. Just because we have more luxury (on the whole), nowadays, doesn't mean we shouldn't instill the idea of contributing to the household in our children. A lot of parents coddle their children too much, let them do what they want and then wonder why they have to call Supernanny to help!

It's simple. Expect more from your children. Get rid of this whole "let them be children" fantasy. That's a modern conceit that i suppose is a byproduct of the industrial and technological ages. Traditionally, children have always played a part in the running of the household, not just sat there being waited on hand and foot, allowed to play video games all day, and generally do as they please.

Admittedly, i wasn't a big fan of my mother when she tried to get me to do housework. I remember fighting it tooth and nail ( i regret not being of more help to her now that i'm an adult.) But even though we fought a little then, i reap the benefits now. I can function on my own in society and take care of myself. And i have respect for others. These should be the lessons this 17 year old is learning, NOT that her wants and desires trump the needs of her family.

Oh. and one other thing. Parents, your job is NOT to give up everything so that your child can be happy. Think about it. If that was the case, then noone would ever accomplish their dreams and goals because as soon as they had kids they would just chuck them out the window. We'd have an endless cycle of people wishing to make the world better "for the children" but never achieving that world. You'd do better being an example to your child and showing them how to be a happy, fulfilled, and responsible adult. Sacrifices can be necessary, but martyrdom is not.

deduction:

There was a time when kids would have to help run the farm, keep the house clean, AND do their homework.

As I recall, most farm kids didn't end up with more than a sixth grade education, if that. I'm not in favor of letting the daughter completely off the hook, but increased luxury does not necessarily translate to increased leisure time.

And you are RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT -

- WING !

I bet if you lived in West Virginia, you'd have junior miss down the mines, dusting the coalface and scraping the dung from a pit-pony's ass. Goodday to you !

But i wasn't raised to be a spoiled brat, either. Justvisiting, my point wasn't that this girl has a whole bunch of leisure time and is just wasting it. my point was that traditionally everyone contributes to the household. and i can think of very very few things that would excuse a member of the household from those duties. actually right now i can't think of anything other than being physically incapable. can you? i'd like to hear some examples. education is not one. plenty of people go to school and manage to (shock!) keep their houses clean.

It is a good life lesson for the daughter, she will need the skills to juggle work, married life, house cleaning, sick kids & barfing dogs all at the same time. Too bad her mom didn't try to prepare her earlier.

...are you Barbara Sreisand by chance?

Looky here. This isn't the good ole days. Why not? Because to afford that house in a decent part of town, two parents work. Full time. The key to childrearing is consitence and persistence. You can't do that when you're not there.

Sure, you can train your kid like a pony. Even a pit-pony, LOL, but nowadays you'd be abusing them because if you haven't noticed, but everything is relative to everything else. Meaning, old fashioned discipline in a losy goosy world would land you in court, and worse, your kid to think they're 'different'.

Me thinks you haven't been a parent yet. But I do understand you, 'cause I was raised your way. If my parents did to a modern child what they did to me, they'd be doing ten to 20.

to make me help out around the house. I loved her and respected her and while we had the normal ups and downs that teens have when they are struggling for autonomy, she didn't do anything raising me that couldn't be done today. i was helping with vaccuuming and dusting when i was little. and i was ALWAYS supposed to be in charge of keeping my room clean.

look, i've met adults that have had moms who were homemakers who did everything for them and let them play and do whatever growing up. They became adults who couldnt do anything for themselves- wash clothes, fix basic food, etc... i guess that's okay if you can afford to pay for someone to do everything for you, but how many people have that luxury. Lots of people are raising their kids to be as spoiled as Paris Hilton is without that Hilton money. and the people that will pay are these teens that will not know how to grow up into responsible adults....

And no i'm not Babs although i do have a rather distinctive nose!!! LOL!

I agree. I've been helping my parents clean the house for as long as I can remember, and I've been helping with the laundry and cooking since mid elementary school. It really doesn't take that long to sweep everyday or mop once a week, and my cooking/cleaning/laundry experience has helped tremendously since I went away to college, since I'm already used to taking care of myself.

growingup, we had chores to do on Saturday, we were not allowed to go out & play until chores were done. We also had to take turns during the week of washing dishes.

Me & hubby also raised our kids that way, chores & responibilities.

Hubby's mom did everything for him, he didn't even know how to use a vaccum cleaner when we were first married.

Dumb_Blond - are you now married to my ex husband??? haha, j/k. I don't particularly like my ex very much but he did teach me a good lesson that I believe will benefit my children in the long run. Early on in our marriage I began to notice that he was pretty much useless and did not know how to do a single damn thing (I was young and stupid, what can I say). His mother actually appologized to me for not making him do chores and have responsibilities when he was younger, because she saw her mistake when he grew up, he could not do the simplest of tasks. So now, the lesson I have learned is that my children will do chores and have responsibilites (just like I did growing up) so that they can be productive adults. Isn't that the whole reason for being a parent in the first place?? Yes, as a parent, your job is to love yor children - but you need to love them enough to teach them how to take care of themselves! Making your children responsible is a lot harder than just letting them do whatever they want to do, but that hard work in the beginning will pay off later. My daughters are 7 and 9 and they do all of their own laundry - I do not make them do mine - I do it. They help out with dishes, cleaning the bathroom, taking out trash, and all sorts of other things. I don't expect it to be perfect either - that's not the point. If you ask them if they like doing it, they will probably tell you "not really", but if you ask them why they are doing it, they will tell you that it is because that is what families do, they help each other out and it teaches us responsibility. They see how their older step brother acts (he lives with his mother most of the time- she does everything for him) and they think it is sad and kind of ridiculous that he doesn't even know how to sweep a floor or fold a shirt. I think my daughters will do well later on in life because of the ethics I am instilling in them now - and they know my motivations and that I am not just trying to be a mean mom - I'm doing it because I truly love them.

I'm sure your kids will thank you later. I'm so thankful to have had the mother i did. My mom was the best because she loved me enough to teach me when and how i could be a better person. Hell, she still does that today!!! ;)

Why, thank you very much. Being a mom is mostly a thankless job. My rewards come from other people who tell me how well behaved my children are or how helpful they are when they are at their friends houses. Believe me - my kids are no saints and can be little pains in my butt - but if they have the good sense to act civilized in public, when it really counts, then I guess I can take some of that credit. And when I am soooooo tired from working all day at my job and then come home to my other job - taking car of my daughters, my 8 month old son, and my overworked husband - I just have to tell myself that I must keep going on, because it will all pay off in the end :) Ok - I have to go and get some more coffee now!!!!

my mother-in-law is horrified & down right pissed that I make her son & her grandkids do their own laundry & clean up after themselves.

Well, then you can pretty much just know in the back of your mind that you are a much better mother than she ever was or will be - sorry - no hope for her (I can't stand clueless people like that!!!) She may very well be a nice person - but she sounds like she is as dumb as a bag of rocks. :)

Hey, when I was at Cornell as an undergrad, I knew a guy who literally mailed his laundry home once a week. If I were his mum I would have starched his jock strap. ;>