In William Saletan's editorial on lowering the age of consent, it's disappointing but typical how all of the "you"s are referring to males and connecting the article to assumed male readers: "If her body is childlike, you're seriously twisted. But if it's womanly, and you're too young to think straight, maybe we'll cut you some slack," etc. It happens throughout the article. What this shows me is a complete disconnection from and ignorance toward the female experience. Sure, I think it's horrible that there's a boy in prison for having oral sex at 17 with a 15-year-old partner. If it was consensual (which I might be mistaken about, but I believe she was ruled to be too intoxicated to give her consent), I don't see the problem. But I think what isn't being taken into consideration when "cutting some slack" is the social world that these kids are dealing with.

It might seem like a 14-year-old girl who looks like a woman (but certainly is not, and I wish Saletan hadn't even made her physical appearance that a consideration) and a 19-year-old guy shouldn't be frowned upon as much as it is legally, but the challenge is to consider the enviornments these ages occupy. At 14 that girl is very likely still in junior high. At 19 the guy has likely been out of high school for a year or two and is probably either working full time or going to college, both of which are entirely different realms than that of the junior high school. With all of the people HIS OWN AGE and HIS LEVEL OF MATURITY that he'll be around in work/school/social environment (and gee, they even have those oh-so-tempting physical curves some 12 - 14-year-olds have too!), you've got to ask yourself what the hell that kid is doing going after such a young girl. Sure, I'm not for mandating a legal sentence that's going to ruin some kid's life for one lousy screw up, but a guy who's obviously entrenched in a different social world has got to go out of his way to seek out those great 12-year-old tits, and his reasons for doing that are often worthy of some kind of legal action. If you're a man, think back to when you were 19 or 20. How many hot 8th graders were so appealing that they kept you from getting with a hot 18-year-old? And remember your friend, the one who'd hang around the high schools around 3 pm or who'd beg you to cruise the mall with him? There's a big difference between even an 18-year-old, who's just left or who's getting ready to leave the social world of high school forever, and a 14-year-old, who's just entering into that high school world. She's still developing socially, mentally, and physically (even if she almost looks like a woman) in ways that older guy isn't. Remember your first year of high school? Remember your first year of college? Huge difference. You can't ignore differences like that by saying four years doesn't sound so bad and ignoring the types of guys who go after those girls and what those relationships are like.

I wish the legal system had more flexibility than it does right now regarding the age of consent, but this editorial represents a dangerously simplistic view that doesn't take into consideration the reality of these relationships for these girls. Just because the girl's 12 and dumb and horny doesn't mean that a guy who's 20 is just going to fall prey to her tortuous curves. That's utter bullshit.

Nice post. I am completely disgusted by Saletan's suggestion that girls as young as 12 are sending signals that their bodies are ready for sex, just because environmental factors are causing them to experience puberty way earlier than they should be. Your acknowledgement that the female experience of puberty is something completely different from what this article is suggesting is smart, mature, and sensitive. As a woman who experienced early puberty, Saletan's excusing men for acting on their sexual urges toward these young girls makes me want to vomit on my keyboard. I agree that the age of consenet laws should be re-examined when it comes to sex between, for example, a 19 year old and 15 year old, but he completely lost me when he equated early puberty with sexual desire.

Good posts. I completely agree that the author missed the idea of puberty being about more than just physical changes and also about mental changes and life experiences. There are a ton of life-experiences people have between 13 and 19, 15 and 19, etc. When I was in my senior year of high school, I had a friend who was dating a girl in 9th grade. My friend was 16, about to turn 17, and this girl was, if I remember correctly, 15, soon to be 16. Also, at my school, 9th grade was not included with the high school, but instead with the middle school. I and some of my other friends felt that this guy should not be dating this girl. His defense was 'I'm not that much older than she is.' To which I replied that that did not matter. He was in a way different place, almost done with high school, going to college soon, whereas she still had all of high school to go, etc. I felt that his behavior was just taking advantage of her, and it was one reason we're not such great friends a few years later. It's not just about chronoligical age and physical maturity, but what mental state you're in, where in life you are relatively speaking.

Good point on the different "places." I recall from my own experience and those of friends who in our senior year of High School were dating girls one or two years younger. Given normal patterns, the girls were probably at least as emotionally mature as we were, but once we entered college, the military or the workforce, none of those relationships lasted long at all.

johnnyc:

Unfortunately the justice system does not have the same simplistic view as you and when it comes in full force that 3 to 4 year difference can be played out to a 30 year sentence once momma objects to the 18 year old dating a 15 year old regardless of what happened. The legal systen has little flexibility and Attila the Hun sits in his black robes adminsitering spankings in the back chamber. So much for the judge's morality . . . eh?!?

Go sit in court for awhile and come back once you see reality.

sunshineinflorida:

Nice post. I am completely disgusted by Saletan's suggestion that girls as young as 12 are sending signals that their bodies are ready for sex, just because environmental factors are causing them to experience puberty way earlier than they should be.

Take it up with nature. Visible puberty is a signal to others that you're fertile. The signal comes from your body, whether your brain likes it or not. That's why men go for breasts -- the attraction is functional, from a reproductive-fitness point of view. It's also indiscriminate, which is why I said it should be regulated. But it's not as indiscriminate as targeting prepubescent kids, which has no natural foundation and is far more dangerous.

Of course I'm looking at this part of the question from the predator's point of view. Because the distinction I'm trying to draw is in the predator's mindset, between a "natural" (not moral) appetite and a completely unnatural appetite. The target's point of view is addressed in the parts of the piece about the cognitive and self-regulatory standards. Remember those?