There is always the possibility that this gentleman's wife is finding the new housemate attractive as well. This may be rifting on the Howard Stern joke Prudie made, but it is a consideration. Either way, the bigger issue is that the decision to invite someone into the house indefinitely without discussion is a bigger issue than whether the woman is too hot to resist.

She disappeared about a week later. Never saw her again. I wonder what ever happened to our guest and her kid?

Or, perhaps she mentioned it, and he wasn't listening? I've had that happen numerous times. From what it sounds like to me, the man is solely trying to make excuses for himself should anything "happen". He says that she's much younger, and beautiful, and even mentions that she seems uninterested, which would lead any savvy reader to get the point that he may have already tried to get her attention in an unwarrented manner. I think Prudie totally missed on this one. She needs to go back and re-read. this man is obviously trying to have an affair that he can blame his wife for. It's like he's saying she put a tasty treat in front of him, and like a dog he feels he should have every right to blame her for his misconduct.

You are wrong, the biggest issue is that this man is trying to validate himself for cheating, or his thoughts on cheating. If not with this neighbor, it will happen some time down the line.

As for the other post above, you are listening too much to Howard Stern. Try reading a few books on human behavior.

This guy is on dangerous ground. He starts out like his issue is the fact that his wife invited a housemate without discussing it with him and then makes a complete digression to saying how attractive she is and how she is out of his league. Basically suggesting he wants her if she would have him. And it's his wife's fault for bringing temptation into the house. Wow.

Wow is right. I can't believe you all are so down on a guy for admitting that he is tempted. How could a human possibly be so incredibly ummm human??

I say kudos to the guy for realizing that this could be a problem and attempting to face it head on.

But he's not facing it head on.

He is writing to Prudie for advice. Granted, Prudie sucks at advice but it is an attempt to address the problem. He certainly isn't just wandering around hoping that temptation eventually overwhelms him and he gives in.

I'm in agreement with SusanM about the guy trying to do the right thing. I think Prudie missed a bit on this, or at least was a little too gentle.

Homeboy needs to grow some balls. His wife moved some smoking hot chick in without asking because she knew he doesn't have the balls to say that it wasn't going to fly and that he doesn't have the balls to make a move on the hottie.

I'm not saying he should persue an affair at all, but if his wife doesn't respect him as a man, they probably won't be married too much longer; that or their fourth child will look a bit like her boss or the mailman...

It's not that he's tempted, it's that he acknowledges she doesn't seem to have any interest in him but calls her a "tank-top temptress" anyway (what, she's supposed to change her whole wardrobe to sweats to make him feel better?), and that the issue of her attractiveness seems way less important than his resentment that his wife let her move in to begin with.

Maybe its a cultural thing but as a woman, I would be upset if another woman was walking around my house with very little on, in front of my husband. Because men do have very basic physical reactions that are out of their control.

Should she have to wear sweats so he isn't tempted? Well no, she should have her own house so she can walk around in as little as she wants in the privacy of her own home.

Disclaimer - I'm thinking this chicky is walking around in an 'almost nothing' outfit without the proper underwear. I don't picture this situation as normal street appropriate attire. Normal street attire would be a different situation.

SusanM:

Wow is right. I can't believe you all are so down on a guy for admitting that he is tempted. How could a human possibly be so incredibly ummm human??

I say kudos to the guy for realizing that this could be a problem and attempting to face it head on.

I agree. I give the guy a thumbs up for acknowledging his attraction to her. Seriously, people, it's human nature. He's basically saying that he would probably act on his impulses if the woman were to "show interest" in him; THAT is why he wants the woman and her child out of the house. He has stated that nothing inappropriate has occurred yet, and it really sounds to me as though he actively wants to remove the temptation to avoid compromising his marriage. And for that, I commend him. Yes, he should be able to control himself, but at least he is sentient enough to know that he's got a weak willpower.

Don't forget, too that on some level, he regards the "houseguests" as a burden; he refers to them as "extra mouths to feed" at one point.

Here's another thing: how come the wife didn't ASK him if it was okay to move the neighbor into the house in the first place?! That doesn't bode well for their marriage, no matter WHO the neighbor is, or what she looks like...

No kidding, , I think some here are reading WAY too much into it. If the guy was just trying to justify an affair, he would just think up a way to justify it, then go ahead and do it, not discuss it with anyone.

How much more head-on could it be? Can you elaborater a little?

SusanM:

Disclaimer - I'm thinking this chicky is walking around in an 'almost nothing' outfit without the proper underwear. I don't picture this situation as normal street appropriate attire. Normal street attire would be a different situation.

Yeah, that might be part of the difference in opinion. I'm picturing one of my sleeveless T-shirts here. I wouldn't wear one to work without a jacket, but otherwise, I don't think they're inappropriate attire.

Besides, he can have all the physical reactions he wants, so long as he keeps them to himself - and again, since he doesn't seem to think she'd welcome them, that shouldn't be a problem. (At least, far less of a problem than hashing out his obvious issues with his wife.)

justvisiting:

Besides, he can have all the physical reactions he wants, so long as he keeps them to himself - and again, since he doesn't seem to think she'd welcome them, that shouldn't be a problem.

But I think that is really the problem that he is writing to Prudie about, the reason that he focuses on this woman's attractiveness and not his wife's failure to communicate. He doesn't want to have these reactions. These reactions are bothering him. He feels like the entire situation would be much more tolerable if he just didn't have to spend his time at home in a state of arousal that he cannot do anything about.

And I strongly sympathize with that position.