New listing.

Just made available.

Quiet section of Geezer Estates.

Close to pool, golf, and expressway.

Share a spacious, newly remodeled 2 BR end-unit.

The room comes with a private bath, complete use of the living room, dining room, kitchen and laundry.

Previous occupant forced to move suddenly. Very suddenly.

$700 month + utilities

No Pets. No late parties. No Michael Savage.

1-854-923-0871

Is a lease required? Or is it simply a month to month type of rental agreement, basically verbal?

Is a deposit required, in case of some problems with head banging against the walls and the drywall in the rental bedroom has to be reparied?

Is the playing of boomboxes, tvs or any other sound, musical equipment allowed?

Is a musical instrument allowed in the bedroom, besides a bed?

Is the bedroom furnished or is renter required to provide their own furnitured and bedding?

Is maid service provided by landlord free of charge?

Is there a parking space allotted for the renter or is parking available only on the street?

Are there stainless steel appliances available in the kitchen?

Thank you for your application.

To answer your questions:

Yes
No
Yes
No
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No
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No

After carefully considering your qualifications and your MBTU, we suggest you seek housing in either Phase III of the BallotBox Manor Development or perhaps in ChatterBox Village. Please understand that your apparent familiarity with Lilith's sock puppets, your downrating of this post, and your uprating of your own posts played no role in our decision.

dumb_blonde:

uh, oh. Who died, left or forgot to stay?

An incident involving anti-Muslim rhetoric sprayed on the JV football team's dorm forced the association to call a meeting. (Clear violation of Geezer Rule # 2)

As it turns out, the tenant has only been put on double-secret probation, which means I have to pull this classified ad, and go pick up all of his shit from the front yard. Big Ol' OED, a bunch of Jane Austen coffee table books, his Barry Manilow CD collection, all of his satin disco shirts, his Slankets, and his Ann Coulter blow up doll.

I have to change the locks back too.

I understand that you have remarried and to none other than a very gallant gentleman, Monsieur FB/TK!

You deserve to have a wonderful companion by your side and I am very happy for you.

Take care, and always remain your lovely self.

Love...

BM

London Review of Books that are scattered all over the quad are his too.

Cripes.