I just read this article on do's and don'ts for restaurant servers, supposedly written by an owner. I pretty much agree with it.

What does everyone else think?

<link>

I think there's a bit more leeway in some of the items than what the author suggests. I especially like #14 - "When you ask, “How’s everything?” or “How was the meal?” listen to the answer and fix whatever is not right." Most restaurants, stores, etc. have their employees ask, but no one has them listen. (The worst is "Did you find everything okay?" When you say no, they just keep checking you out.)

"Anal Sam's" really has a chance of surviving?

KA

p.s., it appears to be written by anybody but an owner.

...when I was waiting tables. You aren't there to be the customer's buddy, they don't care who you are, they are paying for service that's as close to perfect as you can manage. Waiters should strive to be as invisible as they can. It's what I expect when I eat out, too. There's nothing more obnoxious than a chatty waiter. In fact, the more interruptions from waitstaff while I'm eating, the lower the tip drops.

51. Spend any free time you have at home perfecting that pleasing glazed-over look / 1,000 yard stare

52. Produce a low humming noise so that patrons will mistake you for an android / mobile sex doll

53. Don't forget to offer to lick the dog shit off your patrons shoes as they glide in on their magic fucking carpet

I like it. Not sure which annoys me more, rude & uncaring waitstaff or over compensating, in your face, won't leave you alone waitstaff. We tip according to service, we will always leave a tip, just some are bigger then others because of the service.

Don't be my buddy. Don't be my judge. Be my waiter and be good at it. I don't want to know your favorites or how many lobsters you have or how busy things have been. I want you to listen to my order and get it right, and I don't want to feel like I'm bothering you when I have to remind you about the butter for my bread.

I, in turn, will be grateful for good service, knowing how hard your job is because I have done it myself.

IF for some reason I actually have to stiff you, I will explain my reason to a manager on my way out so you don't think I'm just another jerk who stiffed you. Learn from it and do better next time.

Restaurant work is just about the toughest out there. Everyone should have to do it for a month - it will make them kinder patrons.

What the heck is: "amuse-bouche" ?

I like this: "never bump into chairs or tables" .. they should say "unless the tables are packed in so tight that you have to climb over the guests to get by". I've been in restaurants where the tables and chairs were so close that a 6 year old wouldn't have been able to serve without bumping into something or someone.

Also:

54) If there are 5 guests in the entire restaurant then there is no excuse for making any of them wait 30 minutes just to place their order.

As for the tip ... don't tell me how much to tip. I will figure it out myself (based on service). Give me bad service and you can expect a bad tip. No tip just means that I'm stingy. A one or two cent tip is an insult and you should have given better service.

My favorite restaurant was in New York, the waiter was nearly invisible, but as soon as you emptied your glass, he was there with a full one, and he knew what everyone ordered so that he just served each dish without asking. He got a big tip.

Tarq .. for #53, if they are on a magic carpet, how did they get dog doodoo on their shoes?

Tarq .. for #53, if they are on a magic carpet, how did they get dog doodoo on their shoes?

I knew some wag was going to point that out. Let's just say they may be learner drivers  :  )

I'm not a socialist but i always feel uncomfortable being waited on. I'd go in the kitchen and cook my own meal too if i was anywhere near a half-decent cook.

"What the heck is: "amuse-bouche" ?"

It's a small bite chosen by the chef before the appetizer; like a mini appetizer. Literally "mouth-amuser". See: <link>

I don't think anyone is obligated to leave a tip regardless of the quality of the service. AfaIc, tips are given in appreciation of or as recognition of something more than just a job done properly, because doing your job properly is what your employer pays you for and what both your employer and your customers are entitled to expect from you.

When I get efficient service from someone with a pleasant demeanour, I tip very well and tell the person in charge that so-and-so did a marvellous job. (I do the latter in places where tipping isn't expected or allowed.) When I don't, I don't tip. I don't see that as stingy: I just see it as acknowledging what deserves recognition. I don't thank my employees for arriving on time or give bonuses for doing what's in their job description: that's what I pay them to do. When they do anything remotely above and beyond, they receive both public and financial recognition, because they've done more than they were hired to do: they've done me a favour, in a sense, and it's recognized as such then and remembered as such afterward. If there's no difference made between someone who goes the extra mile and someone who doesn't, you're in effect refusing to acknowledge effort and afaIc that's unfair. (Ime, it also leads to losing stellar employees, who eventually get fed up and go where their performance will be recognized and appreciated.)

But that's just my opinion.

At least in the USA, this is not completely accurate.

Waitstaff wages start much, much lower than minimum wage because it is EXPECTED that they will get at least 15% in tips, and they are taxed as though they get at least 15% in tips.

If service is truly horrid, i may not tip or only round up to the dollar on my total bill, but i am doing it with the knowledge that they are actively loosing money on me. service that is nothing but 'as expected' gets about 12%-15%, depending on where a round dollar amount falls. good service will get at least 17%.

I don't think this is particularly fair. Waitstaff should have a minimum wage that is the same as everyone elses, and tips shouldn't be included in that. yes, they need to be taxed on the tips as well, but their base wage (and therefore what people are in general expected to tip) should not be based on expecting tips. Tips SHOULD be based on excellent service - but currently, to be fair, they can't be.

Unnecessary tipping is one of my bigger soapboxes but I have to agree with kudilu - given the current state of the situation in the US, not tipping in a restaurant is very wrong. What you are essentially doing is charging them because they were a bad waiter. That's not ok.

If you have bad service, talk to the manager about it. And hope that we eventually move to a system where tipping is used as a reward instead of as a base salary.

what ever a server does not make in tips, the employer pays them up to current minimum wage. they may only get $2.33 an hour, but if they don't get any tips, the employer pays the difference.

I wouldn't like to pestered, but I always ask for food recommendations. Sometimes servers are really honest too! More honest than the owner would like. ha. And they're never wrong. They eat the food everyday. They know what's good.