"I am a single woman in my late 30s. I'm attractive and extroverted .. I look at all of my married friends and secretly thank god every day that I don't have their lives. Not one of them has the marriage I would want. I would MUCH rather be single than be with someone that I am not head over heels in love with. ... I'm tempted to tell her the truth—her husband is a distant jerk that has no time for her or the kids, all of his friends are overgrown 40-year old frat boys looking for a porn star to marry and clean house, and I love going home and not having to answer to anyone. I date plenty, but I choose to keep it casual (generally with much younger men). I will continue to keep my thoughts to myself, but is it so terribly wrong to enjoy being single? My single friends seem so miserable that I'm starting to think I am the weird one."

Ever notice how every guy on the internet has washboard abs, is taking a break from his promising MMA career, remains confident that the successful business he owns will go from strength to strength, and still has time to woo his besotted Victoria's Secret model girlfriend?

I have just met the female equivalent.

No way, no way, no way. You've totally missed the point. Calling her the equivalent of a guy like that is so wrong, and it highlights the very legitimate issue she was writing about: we all assume a single woman in her late 30s must be miserable. ****** Her friends keep treating her like someone who needs to be pitied. UNLIKE those "internet guys"—who need no prompting to brag about their excellence—the LW does NOT share details of why her life is so great, even when people constantly ask, "how can you be single?" (with 'poor, poor you' clearly implied). She feels the need to keep her own happiness to herself, lest other people be offended. She is considerate and modest (the exact opposite of the insecure braggarts you compare her to), but also deeply frustrated that people keep treating her like she's pathetic. That's why she's writing for help! ****** Her letter can be summed up as: "how can convince people I'm happy without being an arrogant jerk about it?" And yet the second she dares to vocalize that happiness, you jump all over her for being an arrogant jerk. Sheeeeesh, I feel for this woman!

Yeah, she is a real saint. After bad-mouthing everyone else as a mess compared to her, letting us know she dates young men, she claims she needs help to tell her friends about how happy she is. Quite a Mother Theresa, there. /eyeroll

than a smug singleton is a smug married person.

Andeven worse than that, a smug parent of the "you aren't a real persoon till you have kids" variety.

I'm convinced that some of these people regret their own choices in life so they have to disparage everyone else for theirs.

The women I know spend 70% of their time around me, complaining about being married & 30% trying to "hook me up" - not a very effective sales tactic. I figure it's a case of mysery loves company.

My happily married friends don't bother me about it. My guess is that they know it's worth the time it takes to find the right partner.

This letter could have been written by a woman that works in my office, with one difference, she does want to get married one day. But still, I did one day ask her, "How can you possibly be single?" and I later felt awful about it. I was just so surprised because she is drop dead gorgeous, well-educated, and very kind. Although she would like to find a guy, she's also quite happy. So I really don't think this letter is that far-fetched.

Spartee, what’s the point of your post? If you feel threatened by women who are independent and free and enjoying themselves, then just say so. Why present a false analogy? Comparing this woman to guys on the Internet who are obviously lying to boost their self-esteem doesn’t make any sense. You seem to be just grasping for a reason to disparage her because you disapprove of her choices for some indiscernible reason.

Misery.

You seem to be disparaging the OPs reasons for disparaging the woman because you think you have insight into the minds of internet folks.

Thancs - lol

Um, no. The OP thinks he has insight into the minds of internet folks--hence his "analogy." If you think YOU have insight re. the actual reason the OP is disparaging the woman, please share.

No, he thinks he has insight into the minds of prudie letter writers, you are the one commenting on internet writers. Regardless, this comment, as is the previous one that I made, is as absurd as the OPs analagy and your comment, as it was intended.

Hmmm, a puzzler. I seriously can't figure out if you didn't read the OP's post or are just trying to be a smartass (albeit incoherently).