I disagree with Prudie's assessment that the LW's husband telling her about the one-night-stand "says something very good about your marriage". The LW goes to such extensive lengths to explain and excuse the husband's moment of weakness that it makes me wonder if the marriage is really that good.

Also, if the indiscretion was truly a one-time accident and the marriage isn't in trouble otherwise then what good did it do to burden the wife with the information? The husband had a weak moment, and then compounded the weakness by unburdening himself and making his wife suffer for it.

I do agree with Prudie's suggestion that they see a counselor because I think there's a lot more going on that maybe the wife isn't recognizing.

I'm still trying to figure out what "accidental infidelity" is. Knocking over your soda is an accident. Tripping over the cat is an accident. Getting nakkie and doing the mattress mambo? No, that's not an accident.

I agree, that is a really strange way to describe what happened. Especially when it's coming from the person who was cheated on.

As a married man, I can't picture myself cheating in a "weak moment" like the one described. I could see myself cheating if I felt like my emotional/physical needs weren't being met and that I didn't think I'd get caught and that I could blame it on "a weak moment". Like the guy, I bet I would confess the transgression. But like you said, I'd be willing to bet there is something else going on in their relationship that she isn't recognizing.

Regarding "accidental infidelity" probably my favorite book quote comes from the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter Series.

"'Accidental sex'? He made it sound like I fell down, and there just happen to be an erection in the way."

LOL. Yeah, I'm not buying her story.

I think what she meant by "accidental" was "unplanned." Like he didn't PLAN to go cheat on her. He got drunk...and cheated on her. For me, it doesn't change anything...cheating is cheating. I'm more concerned with his, "Well, I was caught off guard and flattered" type excusing of his behavior, and her believing that. So, is he going to have sex with every woman who gives him a few beers and flatters him?

At what point does a reason though become an excuse? He says that he was caught off guard and flattered by her. That does not mean that he was saying that it is justification for his behavior, which is what an excuse really is. If he was using it as justification as opposed to what he recalls of his thought process, then sure I can see your point.

Wife seems to be the one making excuses for him though. Even if it is a one time thing, I do not think it is weakness to tell his wife. Sure, it hurts her and he probably feels better, but there is a decent chance that she would find out later. It would probably hurt more after "living a lie" as some people would call it, for years.