LW #1 - sounds like this 'sweetheart' is passive aggressively flirting with BDSM and watersports. Tell him that there are special places and times for this kind of intimacy and that you'd like to experiment with role reversal. Put on your sexiest lingerie, blind fold him and tie him up on the bedposts. Tell him you'll do a special thing for him if he likes that way...
Then split and leave him there. Because it's not about tickling is it, Muffin? If you have any other problems, I'm sure you'll be more than able to find Dick.
LW #2 - Tell her you're too busy getting fucked up to make the time to re-hash the past.
LW #3 - So... you're new to 'grown up socializing' - why don't you have all your friends meet you at Mom's? C'mon, admit it sweetheart - you don't like your friends' SO's - and that's cool. With an imagination like yours, Dick's sure you could find some bullshit reason to hang out sans spouses.
Now, if you want to learn about 'adult partying' with groups of ten or more, Dick can suggest a few art films for a 'private' viewing.
LW #4 - Leave the poor kid alone. Seriously.
