I'm very sensitive to tickling myself, and encountered this problem a lot when I was a child. There are certain people who *just don't get it*. You're laughing, but it is excruciating and painful and incredibly aggravating. Prudie says dump the guy, but I disagree. He might actually still be a good guy, but simply doesn't believe you. You can salvage this by inflicting physical pain on him.

Tell him that because he obviously doesn't understand, the next time he tickles you, you will inflict physical pain on him in retaliation the first chance you get. If he ignores you and tickles anyway, slap him hard, in the face. Hurt him physically -- nothing damaging, but make it hurt. (A groin shot is out of line, but a hard shin kick is fine.) If he catches your arm or blocks you, wait until he's distracted later. Make it hurt -- nothing he can just laugh off. Make hard enough so that he will yelp in pain, get upset, and have a little tantrum. Let him react, don't make any promises, and let him cool down.

Then tell him that that is what it feels like to you, and that you will do that to him every time he tries to tickle you in the future. He will understand. It's very unlikely that he'll do it again but if he does, hurt him again.

I learned this as a kid from having older brothers and cousins who thought the same way as your bf. We are humans, we are adults, but humans are animals and this is one unique instance where a non-ticklish person simply will not understand without a comparable physical sensation.

Did you read the advise you are giving? It is insane!!!! If she has to get physical with the guy to gain respect she should just break up with him. Isn't that a better solution?

Since they guy clearly has no respect for her if she gets physical she might end up in the hospital.

Truly stupid. She hits him, her gets rough with her, and when the cops come, he shows them the handprint on his face or the bruise on his shin. He may go to jail, but she certainly would. That's assuming he doesn't beat her to a pulp in his anger.

A relationship where two people have to come to blows to get their point across is extremely unhealthy for all concerned.

@jazz -- I know it sounds crazy, but this the is one unique instance where it is called for. She said her bf is great in every other way, I take her at her word. The people who persist in tickling like this see it as a mixed message: your words say that you hate it, but your actions (involuntary laughter) say that you love it. Inflicting pain with your words will eliminate any confusion on his part. And I *did* say that she give him fair warning.

@incog -- do you think that your name calling followed by a presumption of domestic violence are convincing?

There was no name-calling. If you look at the threaded view, you will see that this was a reply to Jazz's reply, using the term "stupid" to agree with his remark. Even without the threaded view, since my post was directly below his, the context should have pointed out to you the relationship, as both posts used the word "stupid", implying a correlation between the term in both posts.

If you will look at this <link>, you will see that the domestic abuse is already there, not merely presumed. The LW states: I am very ticklish, and I hate being tickled. He found out about this weakness when we first started dating, and since then, barely a day goes by when he doesn't try to tickle me. Whenever we are lying on the couch or in bed together, he will start tickling me, and when I react he gets on top of me and pins me down so that I can't defend myself. I have repeatedly told him that I hate being tickled, that it makes me feel vulnerable and no longer in control of my body, and when he continues to do it, it is disrespectful. He insists that because I laugh, I must enjoy it. He adds that I need to learn to master my mind, and once I "convince" myself that I am not ticklish, then I won't panic when he tickles me. (Emphasis mine)

Specifically:

1) Minimizing, denying and blaming: Making light of the abuse and not taking it seriously, ... shifting responsibility for the abusive behavior [by insisting she needs to "learn" not to be ticklish] ...

2. Emotional abuse: Putting her down, ... making her think she's crazy [to be bothered by this], ...humiliating her [making her lose control of her body] ...

3. Using intimidation: Makingher afraid by using ... actions [the tickling, which she has told him she hates] ...

4. Using male privilege: ... Acting like the "master of the castle [by pining her down]

If she reacts violently, the odds are extremely great that he will also react violently, in a much greater measure than she is able to employ. He obviously is much stronger than she is, as he already knows how to make her unable to defend herself. This situation and your recommendation are both recipes for disaster.

A well placed punch or kick will do the trick!

I tried to give similar advice to a guy whose wife wouldn't do the dishes fast enough but it didn't go over too well.

IncogNeato:

Truly stupid. She hits him, her gets rough with her, and when the cops come, he shows them the handprint on his face or the bruise on his shin. He may go to jail, but she certainly would. That's assuming he doesn't beat her to a pulp in his anger.

That's not how that works. He'd go to jail, she'd get a medal for standing up to her abusive man. It wouldn't matter who started it and it wouldn't matter who was bleeding and who wasn't. There is always the danger he'd beat the tar out of her though.

I am now convinced that this is a fake letter. Too many buzzwords/phrases to be a mere coincidence. This one was written by someone in the biz.

I was watching Cops and the guy got the gal all pissed off so the gal hit him and she left marks.

Cops come and see guy has marks on him, gal doesn't have any marks, and gal admits she hit him, trys to explain why, cops say tell it to the judge and take her to jail!

Tickling doesn't leave marks. So if the gal was to hit him to get him to stop and he has marks on him and someone call the cops, she goes to jail!

Of course this was the Cops and that gal was a real loser if you know what I mean. But hey it was very funny. The look on her face when she said 'you are taking me to jail and not him WTF!'.

Priceless!

Are you kidding, PM? I had a female friend go to jail for a night because an abusive friend of her roommate got crazy and the only mark on either of them when the police showed up was a scratch from her fingernail on the back of his hand that was inflicted when she was trying to keep him from touching her. And SHE went to jail for a night and had to prove later it was his fault or it would have been on HER record and her teaching career would have been toast. The cops have certain rules they go by, and they are beyond gender-blind, often in the worst possible way.

I'll just add my story to the rest here. I know somebody that 16 years ago (so even less sensitive to the male POV) shot the guy that was kicking the crap out of her. She had plenty of bruises but still did 4 years in prison for it.