BOTF II: the bloodbath
[SCENE: a fraternity party at a local dorm begins to deteriorate as some participants mysteriously disappear and others return, apparently transformed into zombies. Some of the frat members decide to investigate]
MR: I need to go into that closet.
Audience: Don't go into that closet!!!
MR: I have my reasons...
Audience: but don't you hear the music? That's the expendable cast member music!!!
MR: I'm going in...
[An Insane Clown in a hockey mask strangles MR with a mouse cord]
Schmutzie: I know a place where we'll be safe; it's an abandoned farmhouse near here.
[Remaining frat members discharge a fire extinguisher out into the hall as a diversion and then slip out through the dorm room window]
Schmutzie: we ought to be safe here, at least until dawn.
Schad: I have had a bad day, I think I'll go over to the dorm and lie down.
Audience: Don't go back into the dorm!!!
Schad: Fuck you audience.
BOTF: Ok Schad, we elected you prom queen.
LAM: [Bucket of blood falls from the ceiling] Noooooooo, I'm the prom queen!!!
[Slashing and munching sounds ensue, followed by a loud burp]
Sarvis [coming down from the farmhouse attic]: I know what you did last night.
Audience: Fuck you Sarvis.
MR [now a zombie]: I need to go into the basement.
Audience: Don't go into the basement!!!
MR: I have my reasons...
[Slashing and munching sounds ensue, followed by a loud burp]
MR: It's only a flesh wound.
[Door bursts open, JackDallas Enters brandishing a chain saw]
JackDallas: ZZZZZZZZZZZZRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKK!!!
[Unidentified minor actress, probably a waitress who slept with the director]: hey you... you... you get out of here, you meanie!
JackDallas: ZZZZZZZZZZZZRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKK!!!
GreenEggs: I know, maybe if we read some Robert Service poems, they'll go away.
JackDallas: ZZZZZZZZZZZZRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKK!!!
Freditor: I am selling this farmhouse to a nice young couple with a new baby; you have thirty seconds to move into the barn.
Audience: Don't go into the barn!!!
[CLOSING SHOT: The barn is surrounded by zombies who are lurching their way towards the remaining frat members, who are holed up in the hayloft discussing Nietzsche. Cut to JackDallas sharpening a lawn mower blade in a vice]
JackDallas: I sure do like them french fried 'taters....