Separate bedrooms would be a luxury -- go for it if you can afford it! My husband and I, for work reasons, had separate domiciles for the first few years of our marriage. It made the transition to married life that much easier. Now, fifteen years and four children later I would love to have my own bedroom to retreat to! And I have a very happy marriage. As for Yoffe's questioning whether this woman is mature enough to get married simply because she hasn't yet lived on her own? Well, not everyone can afford to have their own apartment, especially in this economy. Did she think to ask the soon-to-be groom if he currently lives with his family? It's really not that uncommon for newlyweds to go from living in their parents' house to living with their spouse.

she doesn't necessarily need her own apartment, she can live with roommates. And I think her advice is good. She clearly feels like her space is being invaded, and she will definitely start feeling the same about him if she doesn't get a chance to try out a space of her own first.

For this couple, the LW needs to give his wife the space she wants. Why not? It isn't as if they won't be having sex. After enjoying her space for a time she'll probably get it out of her system, at least when it comes to sleeping. Or, kids will come along and the family will no longer be able to afford a whole room for her.

I second those on a different thread that it's sexist or something to be judging the bride for wanting her own space. Nobody questions a man's desire for a man cave.Why is the woman in the wrong just because she's an outlier?

Furthermore, getting sufficient sleep is very important for one's health and this problem doesn't get nearly the attention it deserves.

While it's not the specific issue the finance expresses, many couples would be healthier if they slept apart. Just because you looooooovvvvvve each other doesn't mean you have the same sleep habits. Do your preferences match in the areas of open/closed windows, lighting, temperature, ambient noise or amount of covers? (Or is your spouse a blanket thief and you wake up shivering?) In my case, one spouse is a light sleeper who, in his hazy half-conscious state, resents being disturbed -- though when wide-awake he concedes this is unreasonable if we are to share a bed.

The things that help or hurt your good night's sleep can be primal and should be taken seriously. We all know there are times (college, new baby, etc.) when sleep is going to be de-prioritized, but the entire duration of your marriage should not be one of them. There are other ways to bond besides sleeping in the same bed, especially if you wake up exhausted. The partner whose preferences compromise sleep and health has to compromise.