After a childhood like that (the 'controlling, strict home' makes me think that Prudie's suggestion, a lock on the door, might not have been allowed) it doesn't sound that unreasonable that she'd want a space that was just hers.

Why not suggest a compromise: she gets her own room in your home - a private office, library, or whatnot - to which she can retreat whenever she feels the desire. You won't go there unless you're invited. However, in return, there won't be a bed in that room; she'll spend her sleeping hours in the bedroom that belongs to both of you.

It might be that what really matters to her is knowing that you do respect her privacy and space, and finally getting the chance to experience that kind of respect.

This idea should be a way to give her that without denying you the nighttime closeness that you want.

So she leaves her controlling family for a husband who will tell her where she is allowed to sleep. That sounds like just adding more crap to somebody who has already had it rough to me.

If he needs a wife that sleeps with him, and she needs to have her own sleep space, then they just don't need to be married to each other right now. Sure he can suggest the office instead of a bedroom but it sounds like she has been clear she wants the bedroom, he needs to accept that and plan accordingly.

By golly, I've got it! Like Solomon, we shall solve this dilemma by cutting the bed in ha...Wait a tick, that's what one of them wanted wasn't it? Ooh, this is one is a pickle.