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10 Easy Ways to be a Fundy/Evangey on F-B
by Reptilicus

((We seem to be running short...here's some helpful hints))

1. Remember to tell everybody that if they would believe the Bible was the ‘inerrant Word of God’, if ONLY they’d become filled with the Holy Spirit, which would tell them that it IS ‘the inerrant Word of God’. Any contradictions, paradoxes, or historical inaccuracies would be expunged from their mind after that, because the Spirit grants “new wisdom.”

2. Often paraphrase that noted evil atheist Bill Hicks, who said, “Eternal torment awaits all who refuse to believe in God’s infinite love!”

3. Reinforce the idea that there were no additions, subtractions, modifications, or alterations made to the Bible from the point it was finished by the Apostles, until it’s true and accurate translation in the King James Version, over 1500 years later.

4. Always remember...atheists and agnostics are the same thing…and both are poor, deluded, un-intelligent people, with a strong component of them simply rejecting Jesus because they wish to continue their vile, amoral lifestyles.

5. As well, keep in mind that Christians are an “oppressed majority” in this country and those so-called “rights” for non-believers, Muslims, etc. infringe upon the God-given rights of the people who made this country and who are its legitimate rulers.

6. Naturally also vital to report that we are living in the “End Times”. The world is viler, wicked, more decrepit, and more “anti-Christian” than it has EVER been and God will very soon rain down his judgment upon us. There is no hope, except the hope of being swept up in the Rapture, and every day, things will get worse……OH, but Christianity is a belief in hope and optimism and offers peace and comfort to the world.

7. As far as current events go....remember, any evil performed by a person nominally a “Christian” shows that they are not a “ real Christian” and they cannot be, in any way, considered a product of the Christian belief. However, any evil performed by an atheist, a Muslim, or a person of any other religion IS proof of their foul nature and the evilness of their beliefs.

8. Addendum- Any good performed by an atheist, agnostic, Muslim or other is not important and certainly not worthy of entry into Heaven, as only faith in Jesus counts for that. Any good performed by a Christian is proof of their “grace.”

9. Also, when something fortunate happens in life, it is a “blessing from God.” When something bad happens, it’s just bad luck, or my fault, or the fault of Adam’s Fall for making the world an imperfect place, and this includes tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, and other natural disasters.

And most importantly number 10. As ALWAYS...

Evolutionary theory is NOT a scientific hypothesis supported by fossil evidence. It is a “counter” religion, created (probably under Satanic influence) with the sole purpose of turning people away from God and his inspired Word. It is easily disproved, from the numerous things it cannot explain. Though no evidence of a “counter” theory is available, you know (wink, wink!) what REALLY happened!

Re: 10 Easy Ways to be a Fundy/Evangey on F-B
by Nanotech
Man, you should stay away from those crack rocks!
Re: 10 Easy Ways to be a Fundy/Evangey on F-B
by Reptilicus

Nano....you're good for about 8 of 10 of those, aren't ya?

LOL (BTW...again, glad you're back)

Re: 10 Easy Ways to be a Fundy/Evangey on F-B
by onio-
Only 8?
Re: 10 Easy Ways to be a Fundy/Evangey on F-B
by konark_girl

I don't think Christian fundamentalism has any exclusive claim over this list.....any religious fundamentalism shares these traits -- just substitute Jesus and God with appropriate names from said religions.

BTW, I'm very sad that FB ate the long human sacrifice discussion thread. I maen, how am I supposed to give the brave doggie mapquest directions to sacrificial site now ????

There we go
by reJoinder

..a classic Christian-style "rebuttal" of an argument or collection of arguments.

If anyone here's on crack, it would appear to be you...

Re: 10 Easy Ways to be a Fundy/Evangey on F-B
by J.MADISON
Reptilicus:

((We seem to be running short...here's some helpful hints))

1. Remember to tell everybody that if they would believe the Bible was the ‘inerrant Word of God’, if ONLY they’d become filled with the Holy Spirit, which would tell them that it IS ‘the inerrant Word of God’. Any contradictions, paradoxes, or historical inaccuracies would be expunged from their mind after that, because the Spirit grants “new wisdom.”

2. Often paraphrase that noted evil atheist Bill Hicks, who said, “Eternal torment awaits all who refuse to believe in God’s infinite love!”

3. Reinforce the idea that there were no additions, subtractions, modifications, or alterations made to the Bible from the point it was finished by the Apostles, until it’s true and accurate translation in the King James Version, over 1500 years later.

4. Always remember...atheists and agnostics are the same thing…and both are poor, deluded, un-intelligent people, with a strong component of them simply rejecting Jesus because they wish to continue their vile, amoral lifestyles.

5. As well, keep in mind that Christians are an “oppressed majority” in this country and those so-called “rights” for non-believers, Muslims, etc. infringe upon the God-given rights of the people who made this country and who are its legitimate rulers.

6. Naturally also vital to report that we are living in the “End Times”. The world is viler, wicked, more decrepit, and more “anti-Christian” than it has EVER been and God will very soon rain down his judgment upon us. There is no hope, except the hope of being swept up in the Rapture, and every day, things will get worse……OH, but Christianity is a belief in hope and optimism and offers peace and comfort to the world.

7. As far as current events go....remember, any evil performed by a person nominally a “Christian” shows that they are not a “ real Christian” and they cannot be, in any way, considered a product of the Christian belief. However, any evil performed by an atheist, a Muslim, or a person of any other religion IS proof of their foul nature and the evilness of their beliefs.

8. Addendum- Any good performed by an atheist, agnostic, Muslim or other is not important and certainly not worthy of entry into Heaven, as only faith in Jesus counts for that. Any good performed by a Christian is proof of their “grace.”

9. Also, when something fortunate happens in life, it is a “blessing from God.” When something bad happens, it’s just bad luck, or my fault, or the fault of Adam’s Fall for making the world an imperfect place, and this includes tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, and other natural disasters.

And most importantly number 10. As ALWAYS...

Evolutionary theory is NOT a scientific hypothesis supported by fossil evidence. It is a “counter” religion, created (probably under Satanic influence) with the sole purpose of turning people away from God and his inspired Word. It is easily disproved, from the numerous things it cannot explain. Though no evidence of a “counter” theory is available, you know (wink, wink!) what REALLY happened!

You could have just said one of two things (1) gey a lobotomy or (2) hang out with nano and wait untill your brain looses enough neurons to see the world like him.
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