Briefly, for those who don't know, a few years ago "AdamMorgan" posted on the death of his wife and daughter in a car crash right before Christmas, garnering much in the way of sympathy and support around here. He then went on to post about his "new" life and subsequent dating. It was then discovered that he was making the whole thing up, and he was run out of town on a rail.

I was one who bought into it, and having a young daughter, it really hit home. While I always thought I was considerate of and grateful for what I had, that Christmas I think I was maybe a little more so, because I "knew" someone who had just lost it all.

When the ruse was exposed, I was pissed...I mean really furious. How dare he manipulate my feelings like that? I wanted Adam Morgan's head like everybody else. But with time came the realization that the lessons learned from the whole episode were genuine, even if the story was not. It didn't matter whether or not it was true, it made me appreciate what I had just a little bit more. It was a fable of sorts, with a bit of extra kick.

I mean, it's not like we're born with a limited amount of compassion and I "wasted" some of mine on him. It's really no skin off my nose if he was sitting at his keyboard, laughing at me because I fell for his lie and offered him some sympathy.

Since then, I've treated folks here differently. I try to take everyone at face value, even though I realize their real life personalities are probably at least a little different from their online personas. I stopped trying to discern when someone was being genuine and when they were role-playing. I stopped trying to figure out what the real-life person behind this or that poster was trying to do, stopped trying to "outsmart" them. Trying to deal with that man behind the curtain adds a whole other layer of complexity to posting here that I simply don't have time for.

I don't really know any of you from Adam (appropriate, eh?), so I try very hard take our interactions here at face value. Unless you've given me good reason to believe otherwise, I pretty much accept your posts as honest. But even dealing with dishonest personas helps me better understand myself and the world, and I've found that to be a very liberating idea.

There have been posters I've read who claimed to have a huge disconnect between their online selves and real world selves, but that was usually to convince the online audience that the whole "I'm a dickhead stalker who makes fun of grieving mothers" thing is just an act. I don't believe that someone is capable of performing such an act for an extended period of time without being extremely familiar with the characteristics of overall dickheadedness.

In other words, I assume everyone is posting under something really close to their real world personalities, even when they claim they aren't.

I believe you are the first poster on record to get it. Adam Morgan's only crime was that he ruined a perfectly good story.

Even outside the Fray, maybe all life is a dream. Maybe not. It's a thoroughly unproductive question to ask.

In other words, I assume everyone is posting under something really close to their real world personalities, even when they claim they aren't.

However, it is true that some posters play mind games from time to time. And this sometimes leads to others being wary or mistrustful or hurt. (Didn't you leave BOTF as the result of a kind of mind game?)

I personally would not miss mind games if they disappeared from Slate discussion boards. Written communication is hard enough without that extra layer of confusion.

The posters who play mind games online are, again just in my unprofessional opinion, very likely to be mind game players in real life. Adam Morgan's tragic kabuki is a perfect example. Never met the guy, never will, but I assume if he was capable of conjuring up such a thing here, he's capable of doing something similar in the real world.

I don't see a lot of upside to Adam's theater of the mind myself, and I'm glad I wasn't around when it happened. And I'd have been way pissed if I was someone who'd come to think I know him and trust him. Perhaps "trust" isn't the perfect word, but you get my drift.

Adam Morgan's actions told me that he felt little more than contempt for those of us who've actually suffered/endured the loss of loved ones.

He's a piece of shit and a waste of space, I don't care how fucking well he tells a story. Let's just hope the creep isn't capable of breeding. Imagine having runny shit like that for a parent.

He'll have to speak for himself, of course, but I didn't read any absolution of AdamMorgan's "crime" in there. Rather a positive, personal choice of how to receive/respond to/use it (and the future possibility of such hoaxes), regardless/despite how reprehensible it was (imo, not to put words in Lono's mouth myself).

I don't really know any of you from Adam (appropriate, eh?), so I try very hard take our interactions here at face value. Unless you've given me good reason to believe otherwise, I pretty much accept your posts as honest.

I'm guessing, Lono, that your toppost is in reaction to Shad's toppost on BOTF.

From what I could tell of the rest of the thread, Laurie thought Shad's toppost was a mind game -- I think part of it was that she wondered why he was posting on BOTF, part of it was her past history with him -- and responded accordingly. When she realized the post was not a mind game, she responded differently.

Like you, I make it a point to take all posts at face value. And yes, we all should. But sometimes, it's hard.

If I always repeated exactly what a poster said, I'd be a photocopier. The idea of a sympathetic response is to develop a line of thought a bit further.

So, to return to Lono's own words, Adam Morgan's post made him cherish the gifts of his life more dearly. It gave him a degree of emotional and spiritual focus. What an accomplishment for a Fray post! I suppose it is possible that Lono wants to hog all the credit and send Morgan to the Hall of Shame, but the question will still remain: with rogue posters like these, who needs good ones?

....as far as I know, Schad has never been anything but honest (for better or for worse) in the way he has treated Laurie. She just lacks the ability to recognize that--or anything else outside her warped world.

he posted it out of contempt?

It is more usual for people to write stories about things to which they are deeply and sympathetically drawn.

Sorry to butt in but I'd like to add that while I don't see much upside to what Adam Morgan did, there are those instances like Lono, who actually gained an appreciation for what he has, which is a good thing. I don't think it rises to the level of Tyler Derden holding a gun to the Korean shopkeeper's head, but admittedly this is a virtual community, so within the obvious constraints it is something of an accomplishment to be able to stir that reaction in someone with typed words.

I'm sure Lono already appreciated what he had in his life in the way of a family he loves and a bad hockey team, but rather than making food taste better and sunrises look more wondrous, maybe Morgan's post was more of a a nice little reminder.

But, if one decides to stage such a show, simply for effect, one must be prepared to suffer the consequences. One such consequence is that people are still talking about it, another is that Adam Morgan doesn't post any more.

LAM stated she though Schad had made up the story of his Mother's death because it followed too closely to Ducadmo losing his Mom. I do not call that a misunderstanding but an assumption based on thin air.

Anything Schad dishes out to LAM is richly deserved but then being one if her victims myself, I may not be the best judge to decide that.

SG

of how precious life is by AM's ruse because we have already learned that lesson the hard way. We felt like our sympathy for him was wasted when we found out it was all a lie. In my wildest dreams I could not come up with something that despicable to perpetrate on the Fray posters just to stroke my ego in thinking I had pulled off a mass deception.

I'm with Cat...he is a runny POS.

SG

LAMalevolent!!!!!!