I just reread the letter about sex with the prof and I'm a little confused... "Recently, while discussing a minor variation in bed, my boyfriend asked me whether I'd had another partner." If she's never been with anyone AFTER the current boyfriend then how does he know she didn't learn the trick from the first boyfriend? That's kinda fishy. Why would he go there anyway? I mean it was a "minor variation". A healthy sex life is going to include variety. If he attributes anything new that she does in bed to other men their sex life is going to get very b-o-r-i-n-g very fast because she's going to be afraid to express herself without him getting paranoid. I'm not saying dump the guy. I'm just saying he needs to learn how to relax in bed and enjoy the nowness of it and leave the past alone.

That's what I thought too, nobody breaks out all their tricks in the beginning. You gradually pepper stuff in as you go so it doesn't get dull. Why would he even want to know whether she picked up the trick from an old partner? I think he's probably really insecure... 'oh no! her ex was more creative than me!' I think she should claim to have learned it from a book and than buy a book for him - it sounds like he could probably use one anyway.

Another possibility is that it was a throwaway remark, and she has built it up in her mind to something significant. It's hard to tell, since she expresses only her own opinion in her letter, not any facts about stuff her boyfriend said. For instance, she is sure he'll leave her if he finds out about the prof. How is she so sure? Did he say so?

Fitzpatrick:

Another possibility is that it was a throwaway remark, and she has built it up in her mind to something significant.

"Wow, baby ... oh yeah ... who taught you to do that?!"

wait! maybe he didn't like it, maybe that's why he asked (possibly rhetorically).

Her: So, did you like the (insert idea here)?

Him: Who the he** told you THAT was a good idea!?

ala Seinfeld "It feels like aliens are poking at my body" lol

LW 1 left me sorta shaking my head, and not even much of that. I mean, doesn't everyone know by now the cardinal rule of relationships? "What I did before I got together with you is nunyadambizness!" This applies whether any prior relationship was with a professor, a next door neighbor, or the nanny. LW seems really insecure--and her BF even moreso. Anyone wanna lay bets on how long this relationship lasts?

Novemberrose:

I think she should claim to have learned it from a book and than buy a book for him - it sounds like he could probably use one anyway.

Tell him she once found where her mother hid the parents' copy of the Kama Sutra. Suggest they select a picture from a random page at least once a week. He'll be too busy trying to guess what's coming up next to worry about old lovers!